Tables are Turned
by PKLizzard
Summary: What if instead of wanting Derek, Gary Clarke had come looking for Meredith? This follows that day and the aftermath and Derek being a hovering husband, Rated T for language. ENJOY!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N So this is my first fic ever! Congratulations you're reading history. So this has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I decided to write it down. In short summary Meredith was shot instead of Derek and now everyone is dealing with the aftermath. I would love constructive criticism or if you don't think I'm doing a certain character justice let me know and maybe I can fix it. All in all I really just want you to enjoy but reviews would be really without further ado...**

Meredith couldn't help but smile to herself as she left the residents lounge. She wanted to jump for joy and shout to the whole world "I'M PREGNANT" but she figured it best if the father of the child to be and her best friend found out from her first. With the test tucked safely away in her locker she headed to meet Cristina in the tunnels. As she walked towards the stairs she passed a man and smiled slightly. He looked familiar, probably just the husband or father of a patient. He was about 6 feet tall and had thinning gray hair and a mustache. He was wearing a brown jacket and jeans. Deep in his eyes he looked hurt and angry. The man returned the simple gesture and Meredith didn't give it a second thought. Little did she know he's a murderer, to be more specific, her murderer.

Meredith met Cristina in the tunnels. She was already sitting on an old gurney next to a stack of charts.. "What's so important that you had to pull me away from the exciting world of post-op cardio patients?" Cristina asked dryly jerking her head towards the charts.

"I'm pregnant!" Meredith blurted excitedly. Cristina jumped up off the gurney in astonishment.

"NO WAY!" Cristina said shocked.

"Way."

"Were you trying to…?" Meredith just shook her in equal astonishment. "Congratulations!" Cristina exclaimed."Did you tell Derek?"

"Not yet, I guess I just wanted to test it out on you first." Meredith explained still grinning. As if on cue her pager went off. Checking it she saw it was from Derek. "It's Derek, I gotta go." She said.

"Hey I hope it has his hair!" Cristina called back as she headed in the opposite direction.

"Me too!" Meredith said smiling at the thought.

Derek hated paperwork. More than anything, it was a simple statement of fact. He was having a bad day, and it was only 9 A.M. So he paged Meredith, because if he kept going the way he was, he would be absolutely bat shit crazy by lunch. She knocked and opened the door. "Hey, you paged?" She asked all smiley and bubbly, and suddenly his day was a little bit better.

"Well I like to say hello to my wife every 48 hours. You could make that easier by coming home every night." He said standing up to kiss her. Meredith sighed inwardly. He was in a mood. A, I haven't cut anyone open in a while and it's killing me, mood. She couldn't tell him if he was upset. This will be his first born child, it has to be special.

"I told you I've been trolling for cases. Last night a guy crashed his motorcycle and had rebar jammed in the base of his skull. Shadow Sheppard let me do the extraction." She explained, her eyes sparkling and a huge grin spread across her face at the thought of it. For a second Derek was proud of his wife. But that feeling was quickly replaced by guilt and a twinge of jealousy. Wishing it had been him in that OR watching her, guiding her through the extraction, instead of doing paperwork while Dr. Nelson performed the surgery.

"All while I'm stuck doing paperwork." He muttered more to himself. Meredith's smile faded into a look of sympathy.

"Well then you should come home early tonight. We can order in and I have some stuff to tell you." Meredith suggested a sly smile coming across her face.

"Okay, I'll be there," Derek said his attention returning to the mountain of paperwork in front of him. He sighed as Meredith turned to leave stopping with her hand on the door handle.

"Derek there will be a lot of dirty sex for you tonight. Look forward to that." She said grinning. And with that she left leaving him to ponder the wonderful possibilities.

Meanwhile in a supply closet near the ER, Alex Karev lay in a pool of his own blood staring at the lifeless eyes of former colleague Reed Adamson. If it weren't such a dire situation he'd be laughing at the fact that yet another person he was interested in was dead. But there was a bullet in his chest and a man standing over him waving a gun around and yelling. "Now, are you going to tell me where the HELL I can find Meredith Grey?!" Yelled Gary Clark, the guy Meredith had passed merely 45 minutes ago.

"B-burn…un-it?" Coughed out Alex. "She's…on plastics-check…surgical..wing." And with that Gary Clark set off to the elevator to find the wife of the man who killed his wife.


	2. Chapter 2

April Kepner came running in moments later looking for Reed who was supposed to be back with supplies for their continually seizing patient. She was running so fast that she missed the ever expanding puddle of blood and slipped. As she sat up she came face to face with her dead best friend."NO!" April cried. "No she was…she, this isn't…Oh God she was shot…oh God oh dear God." As April stood up she saw a trail of blood and she shuddered. She didn't want to think about who that blood belongs to, or belonged to as the case may be. So she got up and ran the other way, making a beeline for the Chief's office.

April burst into Derek's office panting and still covered in Reed's blood. Derek shot up at the sight of her. "Kepner what happened?" He said almost yelling in fear more than concern.

"I-I-I….Reed she was…she was" April stammered as Derek held her by the shoulders trying to calm her down.

"Ok April you're in shock. Deep breaths and tell me what happened." Derek said in attempts to calm her down.

"Reed was shot!" April erupted into sobs. Derek sat her down on the couch and peeled off her lab coat. His mind was reeling. One of his doctors had been shot, in his hospital, with his people. He grabbed a pair of scrubs and threw them at April and picked up the phone immediately, dialing security. His eyes flicked over to the picture of Meredith on his desk. Meredith. She was here, in the hospital, and any second she could be shot. Derek was so engulfed in that thought; he almost didn't hear the head of security pick up.

"I've got a doctor up here reporting another doctor has been shot and killed on hospital premises." Derek rattled off in terror while grabbing the emergency protocol binder off the bookshelf "How do we proceed?"

"I…uh…I don't know this hasn't happened before." Stuttered the Head of Security. "Are you sure that's what happened?"

"Yes I'm positive!" Yelled Derek, looking up at a traumatized April, who had changed into his scrubs, and was now curled up in a ball shaking on his couch. He looked back at the emergency protocol binder, his eyes once again flicking to the picture of Meredith, and then finding what he was looking for. "Ok I've got it. Lockdown, nobody in or out, no one moves" He relayed.

"Got it, I've put in a call into the police and sent out a general page for lockdown." Confirmed Security. "We have to wait for the police before we can do anything." And with that he hung up. Derek sat back in his chair for a minute rubbing his eyes. He couldn't believe this was happening. He stood up and grabbed his pager.

"April, I need you to stay here. I'm going to alert the OR's." Derek stated calmly.

"B-b-but you just…you just said no one…no one in or-or-or out…no one moves." April stammered now standing up tears streaking her face.

"That doesn't include me." He muttered as he opened the door and headed for the OR floor. Besides, if Meredith found out he was stuck in a room alone with April Kepner she would throw an absolute fit. Derek smiled at the thought of Meredith, but it quickly dissipated to fear as reality set in.

Meredith was sitting outside the burn unit on an unused gurney eating a granola bar when her pager went off. Picking up she read Lockdown and put it down in time to see Christina walking up to her."Hey did you see about the lockdown?" She asked holding up her pager for emphasis.

"Yeah." Christina said plopping down next to her. "Doesn't matter, not like I leave here anyways" She chuckled. "So did you tell him? Did he cry?" Meredith just shook her head.

"I couldn't he was in a mood and I wanted him to be happy. I want it to be special ya know?" She replied. Christina just sat up and looked at her.

"You found out by peeing on a stick. Why does it get to be special for him?" Christina inquired.

"You're right!" Meredith exclaimed. "I should just go tell him right now." She got up off the gurney and Christina followed. Meredith shot her a questioning look. Christina shrugged

"I wanna see him cry." She said innocently. Meredith rolled her eyes and they set off towards Derek's office.

They were walking and talking about stuff. Christina ranted about Owen and then they talked about the baby and Derek. They were walking by one of the halls with all the offices for department heads were when a man came barreling out. He rushed past as if he didn't see them, but then he slowly turned on his heel to face them. A flicker of recognition passed across his face. "Are you Dr. Meredith Grey?" He asked pointing at Meredith, who just nodded her head. She then gave Christina a look of confused terror. "Who are you?" He asked somewhat eerily as he pointed at Christina.

"Doctor Christina Yang." She stated quietly looking at Meredith again nervously.

"Leave" He said quietly. Christina just shook her head. "I said LEAVE!" He yelled pulling a gun from the pocket in his jacket. Both women jumped back with their hands in the air as a sign of surrender. Christina looked at Meredith who cocked her head in the other direction and mouthed "Go." Christian backed away slowly around the corner by the nurses' station. She stayed out of sight but she could hear everything and run to Meredith's aid if need be.

The man with the gun studied Meredith who stood there petrified to do anything at all. Then he started to speak."You don't know me. I know you because you're picture was on the chief's desk. After asking around I learned you are his wife and Lexie Grey's sister. My name is Gary Clarke, and your husband signed my wife's death wish. You're sister blindly followed his orders. They killed her and now I need revenge, an eye for an eye if you will. And what better ways to do it then repeat his actions. Only you will suffer and I will watch." He chuckled at the thought. "But first, give me your dominant hand."

"W-why?" Meredith stammered holding out her right hand. Little did she know Cristina as watching and had to cover her mouth as she watched the man, whose name apparently was Gary Clarke, put a gun to his person's hand and pull the trigger. Meredith let out a yelp and grabbed her hand sinking to her knees. It took everything not to run to her. Meredith stared up at her assassin clutching her throbbing hand pain radiating up her arm.

"If somehow you survive this I don't want you hurting anyone else." Gary Clarke answered coldly. With that he raised his gun and shot Meredith square in the chest. She collapsed the rest of the way to the ground and this time Christina couldn't control herself and ran to her side.

"Oh Meredith!" She gasped staring at her friend lying in an ever expanding pool of blood coughing for air.

Derek was walking down the hall with the offices for department heads were, occasionally sticking his head in one to alert the occupant of the situation. He was heading back to his office when he heard the first gunshot and the cry of pain that followed it. The cry sounded familiar and he quickened his pace. He was reaching to open the door when he heard the second gunshot and the words that confirmed his worst fears. "Oh Meredith!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N So I wanted you guys to read it before I made any comment. Glad you like it so far. So I had a hard time writing the parts that the episode covered so they're kind of spacey. I'm sort of leaving the episode and your imaginations to fill in the blanks. This chapter leads into the aftermath so it gets better and the chapters get longer. I'm glad everyone likes so far. Keep reviewing and without further ado...**

Derek threw the door open totally unprepared for the sight that lay before him. His wife on the floor bleeding profusely from her chest and struggling to breath while her bloody hand rest beside her head. Her best friend was desperately trying to stop the bleeding from her chest and Gary Clarke standing over them holding a gun shouting to stop fixing her. Gary Clarke looks up at him."Ah just the man I was looking for." Derek barely acknowledges him and walks forward then drops to his knees.

"Mer…" He mumbles grabbing her injured hand in attempts to stifle the blood flow using his free hand to stroke her face. She winced in pain and looked up at him and he could see the terror and pain in her eyes and feel the tears streaking down her face. He got lost in the moment and was brought back to reality by Gary Clarke's yelling.

"I said stop fixing her!" He yells shaking the gun at Christina. The poor girl looked terrified but she stood her ground and in that moment Derek liked her strong headed personality for once. "I said…" he began again but Meredith cut him off.

"It will…hurt more." She heaved gasping for air. Everyone looked at her like she was mad. "I will…suffer, will hurt…more." Those two small sentences winded her and the edges of her vision blurred. Pain radiated throughout her entire body and she wanted more than anything to pass out and for the pain to stop. Derek stroked her hair. He knew exactly what she was trying to do by telling him it would hurt, but was still terrified by the idea of her in more pain than necessary. Cristina looked down at her shocked but understanding. Gary Clarke considered it for a moment.

"Ok." He finally agreed. "You can help her seeing as how she shares the same ideals as me." Christina jumped up and Derek took her place with his hands on her chest. He sandwiched her injured hand between his to keep that from bleeding too. Her hand was cold and that wasn't a good thing. He looked over at her; she was struggling for consciousness and was losing.

"Stay with me Meredith." He almost whispered to himself but he shook her lightly. She looks at him and works up the air to speak.

"I have to…to tell you…" She struggled for air.

"Shhh, I know." Derek soothes stroking her back from her tear streaked face. She looks like he wants to fight him but in that moment Cristina showed up with her arms filled with gauze, an IV, a tourniquet and an oxygen tank in tow. She dropped the stuff next to Meredith's head and immediately started ripping packages of gauze open. She switched with Derek, stuffing gauze in her chest wound. Derek slid the oxygen over Meredith's face and then continued to wrap her injured hand with gauze. Both Derek and Cristina were aware that a gun was pointed at them and they were kneeling in an ever expanding pool of blood of a person the love. Derek finished the IV and was now using the tourniquet to tie off Meredith's injured hand. Meredith reached up and slid the mask down a little.

"I can't…lose." She sputtered. Derek moved her head into his lap, replaced the oxygen mask over her face and stroked her hair.

"I know, you won't. I'll make sure of it." He said softly. Cristina has packed in all the gauze she can and is now sitting with one hand on Meredith's chest looking at her sympathetically. Now everyone is just waiting for the inevitable. When Meredith's body has lost enough blood that she can't fight anymore no matter how desperately she may want to. It is at the moment where Meredith's eyelids droop to the point where nothing anyone does will keep them open that the SWAT team comes barging in through the front doors. Gary Clarke looks with wide fearful eyes. He bolted in the other direction. Without a second thought Derek scooped Meredith into his arms and Christina grabbed the IV and the oxygen tank and they ran as fast as they could towards the exit.

They were immediately greeted by paramedics. They pulled Meredith from Derek's arms and put her on a stretcher, but he never let go of her hand. They loaded her into the ambulance and Derek motioned for Christina to come with but she shook her head no, and then sets off to find Owen.

In the ambulance Derek was clinging to Meredith's hand and strokes her silky hair back from her face. For the first time in his life he prayed, pleading to any God that will listen that she would live. He put his mouth by her ear and whispered that he loves her. He kissed her forehead gently. And then the ambulance doors swing open and they are at Seattle Presbyterian. Teddy and Callie are waiting for them. For a second Derek goes into doctor mode.

"GSW to the chest and right hand, heart rate has remained stable in the 60's, BP's been cycling, and she was conscious up until she was in the ambulance." Then Doctor Derek disappears. "Please save her." He begs. Teddy nods taking the gurney and Callie takes him by the shoulders.

"We got this, we will save Meredith Grey." She confirms then looks him up and down. "You should change and eat something. She'll need you to be strong, she's gonna be in a world of hurt." He nods, and she disappears following the gurney. He heads for the waiting room. Mark and Lexie are already there. Lexie looks as if she's been crying. Mark looks at him.

"Karev's in recovery." He whispers.

"Meredith got shot, she's in surgery" Derek chokes out. Upon hearing this Lexie bursts into tears again. Mark squeezes her shoulder and gives Derek a sympathetic look.

"You should get changed. It'll be a while." Mark says/ Derek just nods and looks down at his blood stained clothes. Meredith's blood, he's covered in Meredith's blood. At the thought of it he turns around and throws up in the trash can right behind him. Mark is on his feet and behind is friend in an instant hand on his shoulder. When Derek is done Mark hands him a tissue so he can wipe his face. Mark then finds a nurse to get him some scrubs and he goes and changes.

When Derek returns clad in the red scrubs of Seattle Presbyterian, he finds Christina and Richard in the waiting area and a box of pizza on the table with some water bottles. Richard gives him a sympathetic look and as he sits Mark hands him a slice of pizza. Derek just shakes his head.

"You need to eat or at the very least drink something." Mark says shoving the pizza back in his face. Derek takes it reluctantly, and starts to nibble on it.

"Where's Owen?" Derek asks Christina.

"He want to go check on her, he should be back soon." Christina answers avoiding his gaze, then she looks up at him and opens her mouth again. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault I made her go looking for you…I forced into telling you…She's pregnant." Christina blurted and Derek just looked at her in shock. "Or maybe was… She was going to tell you but you were in a mood and she wanted it to be special. But I wanted her to tell you so I talked her into going to find you and she got shot, and I'm sorry." Christina gulped fighting the urge to cry. She stared at Derek who looked shocked and heartbroken.

"I signed his wife's death sentence. He wanted revenge. It's my fault not yours." He said meeting Christina's solemn gaze. "She's pregnant?" He whispered. Christina just nodded. Derek just sat there dazed lost in his thoughts while waiting on an update for Meredith.

Meanwhile Owen Hunt stood in the corner of a foreign OR as he watched Teddy attempt to get the bleeding under control and Callie picked bone fragments out of Meredith's shattered hand. He wanted an update but there was just too much chaos. So he silently watched and prayed because if Meredith died it would shatter Christina. Suddenly out of nowhere the monitors started going AWOL and Teddy desperately looked for a reason why. Owen looked down and saw a puddle of blood forming under the table around the area of her midsection. "Teddy it looks as if it's coming from her abdomen." He called out. He motioned for a nurse to gown and glove him. He pulled back the surgical drapes, and his heart broke at what he saw. "She's miscarrying." He confirms sadly. Both Callie and Teddy looked over towards where Meredith's head was and sighed.

Get someone from OB down here." Teddy ordered. One of the nurses went to the phone.

"Poor girl just can't catch a break." Muttered Callie as she went back to fixing Meredith's hand.

It had almost been an hour when Owen returned to the waiting room. Lexie had gone to be with Alex who had been moved to the ICU. Bailey and Arizona had shown up. Mark was sitting next to Derek consoling his best friend while he stared off into space, and Christina just looked really sad. At the sight of him Christian jumped up. The sudden movement caused everyone else to look up at him.

"How is she?" Christina asked quietly.

"She's…stable." He sighed. "The bullet to her chest missed her heart and her aorta, but it was pretty damn close. It punctured her lung and caused massive hemorrhaging. Her hand is pretty beat up. There's damage to her 3rd and 4th metacarpal as well as the surrounding muscle and tendons. She…" He pauses and glances at Derek then looks down at Christina.

"He knows." She says softly. "I told him."Owen looked back at Derek who stared at him pleadingly. Owen took a deep breath preparing himself for the blow he's about to deliver.

"She miscarried." He murmured but loud enough so everyone can hear. Derek starts to sob and Mark and Bailey try to comfort him but it's of no use. Christina looks shattered and Owen just hugs her as she stares off into the distance not wanting to show emotion. She feels incredibly guilty. If only she hadn't talked Meredith into telling Derek. She would still be pregnant and wouldn't be fighting for her life. A lone tear escaped as she buried her head deeper into Owens shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

It was another 4 hours before Teddy and Callie came out of the OR. Meredith was being wheeled into recovery and they were scrubbing out. Just then Callie burst into tears. Teddy just looked at her astonished and gave her a pat on the shoulder. Callie got it together just as quickly as she had lost it and left the OR without a word.

In the waiting room Christina was sitting in Owens lap curled into him. Derek was slumped over in a chair half asleep. Bailey and Richard had gone to sit with Alex and Mark had taken Lexie home. Arizona had gone to get food and a change of clothes. Upon seeing the two doctors, Derek shot up from his seat and wasted no time getting to the point. "How is she?" he asked desperately. Teddy sighed.

"She's stable. I repaired the hole in her lung and stopped the bleeding. The tough part will be preventing her lung from collapsing over the next few days and keeping her blood pressure up. Someone from OB came down…" Teddy swallowed back a sob. "They did a D&C." She finished and turned away to wipe a tear from her eye. Callie stepped up next.

"I repaired her hand. The bullet shattered her 3rd metacarpal and fractured her 4th. There was minor damage to the muscles that should repair themselves but I did need to do a tendon repair. With some PT she should regain full function." Callie explained. Derek nodded absorbing it all.

"When can I see her?" He begged.

"She'll be in recovery for another half hour and then she's going to be moved to the ICU. I'll have a nurse come get you when that happens" Replied Teddy. Then she looked at Cristina. "I need to go check on my other patients back at Seattle Grace. I don't want her extubated until I'm back. She will probably come to before that, so I want you in there to monitor her vitals and make sure the nurses leave her intubated." She instructed and Cristina nodded. She looked back at Derek sympathetically then took off to go check on her other patients.

The half hour rolled by slowly. Finally a nurse comes by and says that Meredith is in the ICU and Derek and Cristina can go see her now. She lead them up and Derek practically ran to her room but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her. Laying in the bed in front of him is a broken Meredith. Her face is so pale it practically blends with the white sheets. She was intubated and there were wires everywhere. Her hand was heavily casted and propped up on a pile of pillows. A white bandage peeked out over the top of her grey hospital gown. The machines were beeping and whirring and for a second Derek wanted to run away from this Meredith that he had a hand in breaking. But he didn't. He slowly walked into the room and sat in the chair at her bedside, taking her uninjured hand. It was freezing and Derek put his other hand over it to warm it up. Cristina sat on the other side of the bed and leaned back in the chair as she looked at the monitors instead of her injured best friend. After a good half hour of working up the nerve to speak, Derek looked at her and tears filled his eyes. "I'm sorry." He pleaded. "I'm sorry this happened to you and that I caused it. I'm sorry we lost our child. I'm just sorry." Cristina was looking at him sympathetically, and he was looking at his feet, so they both missed the pair of blue-grey eyes staring back at them until they heard a choking sound as Meredith started to fight the intubation. Derek and Cristina are on their feet instantly.

"Meredith calm down. You're okay, its okay." Cristina whispered and Meredith calmed down looking at her then at Derek who was still holding her hand and stroking her hair. Tears started to fall out of her eyes.

"You heard me didn't you?" Derek asked gently. She squeezed his hand lightly. He shook his head. "I'm sorry Meredith." He whispered. She looks over at Cristina who just nodded her head.

"I told him." She explained. "The surgery was too much and you lost it." She sighs as she delivered the bad news to her best friend. Meredith then pointed at the tube sticking out of her mouth. "Teddy wants to be here when they take it out but she had patients to check on so now we're waiting." Cristina answered her unspoken question.

"Are you in any pain?" Derek asked concerned. Meredith squeezed his hand twice. It took Derek a second to catch on. "Two squeezes is no?" He questioned. Meredith squeezed his hand once. "And one squeeze means yes." Meredith squeezes his hand once again. Derek nods in understanding. "So you're not in any pain." Meredith squeezes his hand twice. It's a lie, but he looks so tired and worried. He has bags under his eyes which are red and puffy and his usual perfect hair is a mess. So she lies a little trying to ignore the dull ache in her chest and the throb in her hand.

"You should get some sleep Mer, Teddy will be a while." Cristina ordered, more so than she suggested. Derek nodded in agreement.

"Get some sleep we'll be here." He instructed kissing her forehead, then her cheek and finally the small part of her lips not covered by tape. She cherished the touch as she gives in and lets her eyelids ddroop. At first it's a dreamless sleep. Then she sees Gary Clarke and hears his menacing words.

" _An eye for an eye if you will."_ Then she's on her back pain ripping through her chest as Cristina stands over her. Her head is suddenly in Derek's lap and she wants to be comforted but the terror in Derek's eyes and the pain in her chest prevents it. Finally she watches as a baby seemingly floats up from her abdomen looking at her with Derek's same sad eyes. It is almost relieving when her eyes fly open until she feels the haze of all the drugs she's on and the dull ache that courses throughout her body. Worst of all she sees April Kepner standing in the doorway shaking and holding her stuff.

"I-I grabbed it from her locker. Figured she might wan…want it." She explained stammering. "I'm sorry this…" She trailed off when she saw that Meredith was awake and tears were streaming out of her eyes and down her face. This caused Derek to turn and see why April stopped talking. At the sight of Meredith crying he jumped up and starts to wipe her tears away and grabs her hand. April just puts the stuff down and scurried out of the ICU biting back tears.

"Hey hey, shhh, it's okay." He whispered soothingly. "Are you in pain?" He asked wiping her tears away. She squeezed his hand twice. "No. Do you feel sick?" He tried again and Meredith squeezed his hand twice again. "Are you scared?" He asked caressing her cheek. Meredith squeezed once. "He's dead Meredith. They got Gary Clarke. And you, you're gonna be just fine." Meredith squeezed his hand twice and Derek finally understood. "You had a nightmare." He realized. "Oh Meredith, I'm sorry." He whispered. Her tears have stopped Derek just stroked her hair. Meredith glanced over at the chair that Cristina had occupied before, then back at Derek. "She went to call Teddy who should be here soon to get the tube out." Derek explained. Meredith squeezes his hand once in understanding. Her eyes wander over to her injured hand. "Does it hurt?" Derek asked worriedly. Meredith squeezed his hand twice and looks back at him. "It'll be fine. It will take some PT but you'll have full function." Derek assured her. He smiles at the look of relief that crossed her face. At that moment Teddy walked into the room with Cristina and a nurse in tow. She smiles when she sees that Meredith is awake.

"Alright Grey let's get that tube out." Teddy said, and then looks at Derek. "Why don't you head to the waiting room?" She suggested softly. Derek shook his head.

"I'm not leaving her." Derek stated. He looked at Meredith to back him up but she squeezed his hand once and looks at Teddy. "But…" Derek started to argue. Meredith just squeezed his hand more tightly.

"Derek, you know its policy." Cristina spoke up. "I'm going with you I just had to update Dr. Altman." Derek sighs dejectedly and looks back to Meredith

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" He almost pleaded afraid to let her out of his sight and for her to be alone. She squeezes his hand once to let him know she'll be okay. He kisses her forehead lightly. "I love you" He whispered. She squeezes his hand once more, then he lets go and backs out of the room. He watches as a nurse adjusts the vent settings and Teddy begins to explain to Meredith what is going to happen. She listens and prepares herself for what is about to happen. Then the nurse closes the door and Derek and Cristina are lead to the waiting room.

While in the waiting room Cristina picked up a magazine and thumbed through it. She wasn't focused enough to read it but it was a slight distraction from the images that out his phone and called the one person he knew to call in a crisis.

"Hey Mom." Derek practically whispered into the phone.

"Derek! Oh thank God, I heard it on the news, I was so worried." Carolyn Shepherd cried. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm okay, but Meredith she…" Derek couldn't finish the sentence but he didn't have to.

"Oh Derek." His mother whispered soothingly.

"She should be okay but I…I don't know what to do." He cries biting back the full blown sobs. He can hear a faint clicking noise in the background.

"It's going to be okay dear. I'll be out there by 9ish tomorrow morning." Carolyn replies soothingly. Derek feels a little relieved that his mom will be there. Then another thought crosses his mind.

"Mom?" He asks. "Don't bring the girls. I mean, you can call and tell them I'm alright but I don't want her to be overwhelmed. She really doesn't do family well."

"Ok son I will call them and deal with it. Go be with Meredith." She reassures him quietly. They talk details for another ten minutes, when he notices Teddy walking up he says a quick goodbye and hangs up.

"How is she?" He asks jogging up to her Cristina on his tail.

"She did well." Teddy answers. "She's asking for you but she's really groggy and having a hard time keeping conscious." She says looking at Derek. He doesn't need further explanation as he sets off to her ICU room.

When he opens the door Meredith's eyes are opened but they're glazed over and she looks exhausted.

"Derek?" She croaked her throat sore and voice raspy from the intubation.

"I'm here." He whispered sitting beside her and taking her hand. "How are you feeling?" He asked gently stroking her hair.

"Like…crap." She muttered. Derek felt his heart break a little knowing that it was his fault she was hurting.

"I'm sorry." He whispered trying not to cry. He had to be strong for her.

"Hey…don't. Don't blame…yourself. It-it wasn't…you." Meredith whispered quietly. Suddenly coughs wracked her body. Derek is on his feet handing her a pillow to hold to her chest and rubbing circles on her back. When the coughing subsided Derek helped Meredith lay back against the pillows. He then poured her a cup of water and held the straw to her lips. She took a few small sips then lay back into the pillows. Derek resumed his position in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand and gently stroking her forehead.

"This is my entire fault." Derek sighed looking at his poor, battered wife.

"You weren't…holding…the gun." Meredith said quietly.

"I unplugged his wife. He wanted revenge and you got caught in the middle. It should've been me. You were an innocent bystander and you almost got killed because of my actions." He took a breath and looked at Meredith. "I'm sorry." He choked out trying to hold back tears. Meredith just squeezed his hand twice, too tired to argue. Derek could see her fading and remembered one more thing. "I called my mom. She's coming out here." He told her.

"Sisters?" Meredith asked hoping they wouldn't show.

"No" He reassured her.

"Okay." Meredith simply replied, closing her eyes.

"Get some sleep I'm not going anywhere." Derek whispered kissing her on the lips lightly. Shortly after Meredith's breathing evened out and she snored lightly. Derek smiled as he put his head down on the bed near her hand. He watched her sleep peacefully. Nurses came in and out but Derek was totally oblivious. He drifted off sometimes but never stayed asleep for more than an hour, he just watched the love of his life sleep playing the events of the day over and over again in his head.

 **A/N Woah that was a little intense. More of that is more to come. Yeah I know terrible person because she miscarried. It just didn't seem practical, like who gets shot and manages not to miscarry. But she got to keep the hand and she will be okay. But for the sake of fufilling the drama label there will be some bumps in the road. Keep the reviews coming I really like reading them!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N So I realized, I really need to work on my tenses. You'll notice some things are in present tense and most things are in past. Sorry, I'm working on it promise. This chapter is personally one of my favorites because it's kind of light and fluffy between all the crap. I'm really glad you're all liking it. I'm liking writing it and seeing all the reviews and stuff so thank you. And without further ado...**

The next morning Cristina returned with two cups of coffee and a doughnut. She handed him one of the cups of coffee and the doughnut. She checked Meredith's stats then plopped into the other chair. "You look like crap." She told him not taking her eyes off Meredith.

"Thanks." Derek mumbled into his coffee.

"How'd she do overnight?" Cristina asked trying not feel, but instead pretends it was another patient.

"Stable, no issues or nightmares, slept right through the night." Derek said sitting up a little more. "What time is it?" He asked.

"About 8 or so." Cristina told him. Derek looked at his phone and saw a message from his mom saying she had landed and had gotten a cab. He breathed a small sigh of relief knowing his mother would be here soon. Cristina noticed this.

"What?" She asked.

"My mother is coming." He filled her in.

"Oh." Cristina thought about it. "Does she know?" She asked cocking her head in the direction of Meredith's sleeping form.

"I told her. I'm not sure if she'll remember through all the drugs and stuff." Derek said brushing stray strands of hair from Meredith's face. Just then Meredith's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey." Derek whispered lightly touching his lips to hers. Meredith searched the room with her eyes confusedly, and then she remembered the traumatizing events of the day before and started to panic. "Shh shh. Its okay, you're okay. I'm not going anywhere." Derek whispered soothingly stroking her hair. Cristina stood up so she was in Meredith's line of sight and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Meredith opened her mouth to say something but found her throat too dry so it was more of a raspy cry. Cristina poured her some water and put the straw in Meredith's mouth. She took a few sips then tried to talk again.

"Hi." She whispers looking between the two concerned expressions looking at her. "Don't worry I-I'm…fine." Cristina started laughing and Meredith cracked a small smile. Derek on the other hand looks more worried than before.

"Mer…" He trails off and she smiles at him.

"Joking" She reassures him. He looks relieved and squeezes her hand lightly.

"How are you feeling?" Cristina asked looking at Meredith's chart.

"Tired…Sore…ick." Was Meredith's reply before she started to cough. Cristina handed her a pillow and Derek rubbed her back and whispered soothing words in her ear. The coughing subsided and Cristina gave her some ice chips to suck on. Derek just sat there and watched her struggle while he was overcome with immense guilt. Sensing this Meredith decided to change the subject.

"When does…Mom?" She asked speaking in short choppy sentences because, even though she wouldn't openly admit it, her chest really hurt especially when she talked.

"She'll be here soon." Derek told her. "What are you getting sick of me already?" He teased. Meredith just smiled and Derek felt a little relief knowing that he'd made her feel the slightest bit better. Her body relaxed and her eyes fluttered. Cristina had left to go see Alex, so it was just them. "It's okay. You can sleep." Derek whispered and stroked her soft hair.

"I love you." Meredith murmured sleepily. Derek smiled and kept stroking her hair until her breathing evened out. Then he couldn't take it anymore. He held her hand to his forehead and cried softly. He just sat there, for how long he doesn't know and cried, for the loss of life, the pain and the exhaustion his simple diagnosis had caused. People were in pain, his wife, was in pain because of him. The logical part of his brain knew it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help but feel a little bit responsible for what had happened. He jumped when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder. He turned and saw Mark standing behind him with a sympathetic expression on his face.

"Hey man, look who I found." Mark said stepping aside to reveal Derek's mother.

"Mom!" Derek exclaimed standing up to hug his mother.

"Oh Derek" Carolyn Shepherd said cupping her only son's face in her hands. "I'm so glad you're alright." She whispered not wanting to disturb her resting daughter in-law.

"I'm not really all that okay." Derek mumbled looking back at Meredith's sleeping form with all the tubes and wires sticking out. Mark walked up behind him and put his hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"She'll be okay man. She's a dirty mistress, we're a tough bunch." Mark reassured. Derek kept his gaze on Meredith and replied with a hushed "Yeah"

"Derek have you had anything to eat recently?" His mother asked concerned.

"Yeah, one of her friends brought me a doughnut and some coffee earlier." He replied thinking of the rare show of the caring side of Cristina Yang.

"How about sleep?" Carolyn was in full on mother mode now.

"I got a little last night." Derek said trying to downplay his exhaustion, knowing what was going to happen next. Mark smirked a little and Carolyn pursed her lips in disapproval.

"You should go sleep for a little while. You're no good to her if you aren't on you're A game." His mother ordered in a gentle tone. Derek just shook his head.

"I can't leave her. What if she wakes up?" He gently stroked Meredith's peaceful face.

"Your mom and I will stay with her. Besides," Mark reassured while grabbing the chart and thumbing through it."She's on a pretty high dose of morphine, plus the dopamine, not to mention the major surgery merely 12 hours ago. She's gonna be out for a while." Carolyn nods her head in agreement. Derek just nods reluctantly realizing he has no choice. Kissing Meredith lightly on the forehead he faces his mother and Mark.

"Find me if she wakes up." He ordered then trudges off to an on-call room. Mark and Carolyn take the chairs on either side of the bed and sit back simply just watching Meredith sleep exchanging very little conversation.

A few hours later, Derek had crashed in an on-call room. He had changed into some clothes Lexie had brought him and had showered in one of the hospital bathrooms. He was now in a restless sleep, but sleep none the less. Meanwhile Meredith had started to stir.

"Hello Sleeping Beauty." Mark said as soon as Meredith's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey…You here to…fix boob…hit by b-bullet?" Meredith grinned and Mark laughed while Carolyn just shook her head.

"Nah just filling in for that hovering husband of yours, who is currently sleeping we hope." Mark informed her. "You're awake, so I should go find him before he castrates me for not updating him on your every move."

"No…let him sleep…He's…a wreck."

"Listen to the girl Mark." Carolyn said.

"And if he beats the shit outta me because I didn't find him?" Mark asked raising his eyebrows.

"I'll…fake…asleep." Meredith reassured him, giggling which quickly turned to coughs. Mark handed her the pillow and Carolyn got water ready for when the coughing subsided. After handing the water back to Carolyn and catching her breath, Meredith spoke up again.

"Hi…Mrs. Shep-herd." Meredith whispered her voice hoarse from the coughing.

"Oh Meredith, stop with the formalities. Call me Carolyn." She reprimanded then added softly."It's nice to see you again, dear."

"Circumstances…suck."

"Mom, have you ever noticed, when you come to visit we always seem to have a serial killer issue?" Mark pointed out. Both women chuckled. There was a knock at the door and Meredith immediately closed her eyes trying to look asleep. Mark laughed and when Lexie opened the door he said "All clear Grey. It's just Lexie." Meredith immediately perked back up.

"Lexie!...You're alright."

"Yeah Mer I'm okay." Lexie replied switching with Mark and sitting next to Meredith.

"Alex?" Derek had told Meredith about Alex already figuring she would freak out if she found out any other way.

"He's doing well. He's in and out of it but he says hi. Why were you faking being asleep when I came in?" Lexie asked.

Derek…castrate Mark…if he…found out I…awake." Meredith rasped, her throat burning.

"I told Derek I would find him when she woke up. When she woke up she told me to let him sleep. Now I fear for my life if/when he finds out I didn't find him." Mark filled Lexie in. Lexie nods in understanding.

"You might want to consider actually sleeping. You look pretty exhausted Mer." Lexie told her. As if on cue Meredith yawned and nodded in agreement. Everyone laughed and Lexie left to head back to see Alex. Mark and Carolyn leaned back and Meredith fell asleep pretty quickly after that.

Many hours later Meredith awoke to Derek's loving, concerned gaze.

"Hey" She whispered

"Hey"

"How was…your nap?" She asked and instantly realizing her mistake but went along with it in hopes Derek wouldn't notice.

"It was okay…Wait a second, how'd you know about that?" He glared at her.

"Damn." Meredith cursed under her breath looking at her mother in-law for support only to find her asleep. "I…um…I don't…have a good…an-answer. Don't kill…Mark." Meredith was resisting the urge to cough and her throat was on fire from the one choppy sentence. Her chest was killing her. Sensing this Derek dropped the subject making a mental note to find Mark later.

"Here, ice chips." Derek said feeding her from the cup on the table behind him. Normally Meredith would object to this but she was too exhausted to care. At that moment Teddy walked into the room with Cristina in tow.

"Well look who's awake. How are you feeling Grey? Teddy asked.

"Exhausted and…sore." Meredith whispered.

"That's to be expected." Teddy reassured.

"She's in pain. Can we up her meds?" Derek interjected but Meredith just shook her head.

"S'okay." Meredith reassured him.

"Unfortunately no, I'm afraid if we gave her anymore that it would compromise her blood pressure. Also I was thinking I would lower your dose a little for tonight. We're planning on taking the drains out tomorrow morning so we can get her into a regular room sometime in the next 36 hours. So if we lower her a little tonight we can give her more tomorrow along with sedative so it will be as painless as possible." Teddy explained. Meredith nodded in agreement. Derek was not so lenient.

"I don't want her fast-tracked." Derek exclaimed. Meredith simply squeezed his hand.

"The board is covering the medical expenses so no fast-tracking." Cristina spoke up. "It would be ideal to have out of the ICU as soon as we can so that she can get on with her recovery. She needs to get off the meds eventually." Meredith nodded again and Derek simply sighed with resignation. Teddy made a few notes on the chart while Cristina adjusted the meds. Then they both left leaving Meredith alone with Derek since his mother had since woken up and gone to get coffee.

"Are you going to be okay?" Derek asked concernedly. "And you'll tell me if you're in pain?"

"Uhmmm" Meredith murmured already half asleep. Derek scooted a little closer to her and gently caressed her face. "I love…you." Meredith whispered sleepily.

"I love you too." Derek whispered back, kissing her knuckles. A small smile graced Meredith's lips as she fell into a deep sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

" _An eye for an eye if you will…They killed her…I want revenge…Only you will suffer and I will watch…Stop fixing her!"_ The cold harsh words echoed through Meredith's subconscious as she slept until she couldn't take it anymore. She awoke with a start to see her mother in-law peering at her. Meredith tried to sit up but was met with overwhelming pain and a pair of hands on her shoulders.

"Shh lie back dear. It's alright. Everything is alright." Carolyn soothed her daughter in-law. Meredith still had tears pouring out of her eyes and was desperate for breath, but she complied. "Now why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nightmare" Meredith gasped.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

"Where's…D-Derek?" Meredith sniffled finally managing to slow the tears to a trickle.

"He's giving his statement to the police, dear." Answered Carolyn. "Here drink something." She held the straw to Meredith's lips. Meredith started to take a sip, but started coughing and sprayed water everywhere. "Okay, okay. It's alright, you're fine, deep breaths, there you go."

"It…h-h-urt…s" Meredith cried. "I want…want Der…Derek."

"Why don't I go find him for you?" Offered Carolyn, trying to be as motherly as possible.

"NO…don't leave…leave me a-alone." Meredith whispered tears pooling at her eyes again.

"Alright dear, I won't go anywhere." Carolyn stayed in Meredith's line of sight, trying to be as comforting as possible.

"M'sorry." Meredith mumbled.

"For what?"

"For…pushing you…away." Meredith whispered.

"Oh sweetie, you're not doing anything wrong. We don't know each other well and you're in an uncomfortable position. You're scared and you have every right to be, so don't go worrying about my feelings right now." Meredith simply nodded and leaned back into the pillows. Tears were running down her cheeks again. Carolyn wiped them away with a tissue and whispered soothing words. They sat like this until Derek came back.

"Hey." He whispered to his mother who was blocking his view of Meredith. "How's she doing?"

"Ask her yourself." Carolyn replied, standing so he could see the Meredith's eyes were indeed open and filled with tears.

"Hey" he whispered tentatively sitting next to her and wiping her tears away. "What's wrong?" Meredith just shook her head. Derek wished the he could just kick off his shoes, climb into bed with her and make it all go away. But that would do more harm than good so he'll have to settle for holding her hand and wiping her tears away. "Are you in pain?"

"No…well…a little." Derek's breath hitched in his throat, and his heart breaks. _This is my fault._ He thought.

"Do you want me to go find a nurse and get you some medication?" He offers trying to do anything to take away her pain.

"NO!...Don't leave…I-I can't." With that she breaks down sobbing. "I'm-I'm…scared." She sobbed loudly. _Screw it,_ Derek thought as he pushed the rail down on the bed and sat on the edge. Wary of all the tubes and wires plus Meredith's incisions, Derek wrapped his arms around her neck and held her head to his chest. He rocked her a little side to side and she brought her good hand up to his shoulder and grabbed a fistful of his shirt. Derek held her close and hoped she would calm down. It wasn't good that she was this worked up especially after heart surgery.

"It's okay, I'm right here, I'm okay you're okay, we're alright." He whispered in her ear and felt her start to relax against him. He gently placed her against the pillows and stroked her hair. She leaned into the touch and relaxed even more. Derek leaned over and grabbed an oxygen mask off the hook and placed it on her face. For a second she tried to fight it but Derek wouldn't let up and it did make her feel better. Derek just sat there stroking her face and holding her hand until she fell asleep again. Derek still held vigil, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing words until a voice scared him out of his trance.

"You're good for each other." Derek turned to see his mother in the doorway. She had been standing there observing the whole exchange. "It's my impression that she isn't the best communicator or very good at the family thing. She's never really trusted anyone but she trusts you. That's good that she can open up. And like I said before, she's a great show of perspective for you." Carolyn finished, stepping into the room. Derek just nodded in astonishment at his mother's words. He thought about if this had happened two years ago. He wouldn't be here, he'd be with Addison. And even if he was here she wouldn't talk to him. To Cristina or Izzie and George, sure, maybe even Alex if he weren't asleep in the room down the hall. But she sure as hell wouldn't have said a word to him. But moments ago she'd let him hold her and had admitted a weakness: fear.

"I love her." He whispered, still in the same spot on the bed, gently caressing her face. Carolyn placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And this really sucks. I respected a patient's wishes, and because her husband couldn't understand that he insisted I pay. He saw a picture on my desk and had a casual conversation with a nurse and suddenly we're here. Meredith is hurt and I am to blame."

"Stop right there!" Carolyn scolded. "You weren't holding the gun. You did your job. If you hadn't unplugged her you would have lawyers knocking down your door, costing the hospital money, getting the board angry with you, and eventually it would have been decided that she should still be unplugged and we'd be right back here. Except you might be out of a job." Her tone softened. "She'll be alright Derek. She's tough and she's got a whole army behind her. She made it through surgery and through the night. That's good. She's going to be just fine." Derek just nodded in response. He stood up from the bed and hugged his mother letting a few tears fall.

"Thanks Mom." He whispered, releasing her from the hug.

"Get some sleep. I've gotten myself a hotel room so I think I'm going to catch up on sleep." Derek simply nodded and sat down next to Meredith resuming the position he had the night before with his head resting on the bed beside Meredith's hand which he held onto.

Many hours later, Meredith was pulled to a minimal conscious state by the sound of voices. Two voices, one she recognized as Derek's and the other was a women's but she didn't know who it belonged to. They sounded irritated, angry and exhausted. Meredith attempted to reach out and comfort Derek, but the shooting pain that went up her arm into her chest when she moved her right arm, reminded her of the events that had happened a mere 48 hours ago. So trying to look like she was still asleep, she laid back and listened.

"…don't want her in pain."

"I understand that but her blood pressure is too low to give her anymore painkillers. We can give her Xanex or Diazepam to keep her out of it, but that's about it."

"But it will still hurt!"

"Well would you rather her dead?" At this comment Meredith opened her eyes. She saw Derek standing at the end of her bed rubbing his face. His hair was a mess, clothes were wrinkled and he looked exhausted and defeated. The female voice belonged to Teddy Altman who looked equally exhausted and defeated and was looking at Derek with an expression of sympathy and a hint of aggravation with his broody, overprotective husband side. Neither of them had noticed she was awake.

"Look Derek, I'm sorry. This is hard for you, I can see that. But this is protocol; it's what's supposed to happen in order for her to get better. The drains are causing a great deal of her discomfort right now, and if we can get them out that will help. You just have to trust I know what I'm doing."

"I do. I do trust you. It's just this is Meredith. This isn't any other patient; it's the women I love." Derek sighed looking over at Meredith. He jumped back a little when his gaze was met with hers. "You're awake." His tone was much softer.

"I am" Her voice was still hoarse and sleepy but her eyebrows were raised in amusement.

"H-how much did you hear?" Derek stammered as he walked over to kiss her lightly on the forehead.

"You being…stubborn, something…about…low BP, Sedatives…You…love me." Derek nodded his head and looked at Teddy then back at Meredith.

"The drains are going to come out soon." Derek filled her in. "And I do love you but you knew that already."

"I…got that." Meredith took a deep breath. "No…sedation." Teddy looked stunned and Derek looked upset.

"Mer-"He began but she held up her hand to cut him off.

"It'll hurt…no matter…I-I don't…don't want…to be foggy." She explained squeezing Derek's hand. It was more to comfort him than it was comfort for her.

"You're sure Grey?" Teddy confirmed giving her a curious look. Meredith just nodded. "Okay then, I need to find a nurse and supplies. Then we'll get started." Teddy left leaving Meredith and Derek alone. Meredith turned her attention to Derek. He was looking at her like a kicked puppy pleading for forgiveness.

"S'okay…I promise." She reassured him, squeezing his hand.

"I just don't want to see you in pain." He whispered tears forming in his eyes. She gave him a sad look, wishing he didn't have to watch this either. She just wished this whole thing wasn't happening.

"You don't…have to stay…I-if you…don't want." He perked up immediately at her words.

"No Mer…That's not what I meant. I'm here for you. I'm staying." He confirmed. She smiled at how much he cared.

"I know…I just…don't…want you….hurting." She explained. He looked at her and smiled. She was in pain and she still was worried about his feelings. They sat enjoying each other's company like this until Cristina came barging in.

"I just ran into Teddy who is coming to remove your drains and she told that you're refusing sedation. Are you crazy?" Cristina ranted pacing at the front of the room until she stopped at the foot of Meredith's bed and looked at her expecting an answer. Meredith shrugged.

"It'll hurt…anyway…don't want…foggy." Her explanation was cut short by the coughs that wracked her body. Both stepped into action as it had sort of become a routine. Derek helped Meredith lie back and gave her some ice chips. Cristina plopped down in the chair by Meredith's right side. She received a questioning look from both Meredith and Derek.

"I'm staying. You need someone to say I told you so when you're screaming to be sedated." Cristina told them. Derek looked horrified but Meredith just giggled.

"You're…a true friend." At this point Teddy entered the room with a nurse in tow, who was carrying a bunch of supplies.

"Alright Meredith, let's get this over with." She said snapping on a pair of gloves. Derek moved to the other side of the bed so he was out of the way, He held onto her left hand which was stretched out over her head. Cristina stood slightly behind him with a supportive hand on Meredith's thigh. The nurse slipped an oxygen mask over Meredith's face and continued laying the surgical drapes over her side.

"Okay Meredith I'm just going to apply some local anesthesia." Teddy explained while flicking a needle. Meredith nodded and winced a little when she felt the prick of a needle. Derek squeezed her hand in reassurance and Cristina gave her a supportive smile.

"Alright Grey now's the hard part." Teddy said as she began to undo the stitching on the first drain. Meredith clung to Derek's hand more tightly and her face scrunched up in discomfort. Derek squeezed her hand back and Cristina patted her thigh awkwardly but in a strange way it was comforting. That was until she felt a sharp, searing pain spread through her chest, followed by a sensation similar to someone dropping an anvil on her chest. She heard people saying stuff and the distant beeping of the heart monitor, but she couldn't focus on anything other than her inability to breath. She was panicking. Her eyes darted frantically around the room, her vision blurred with tears. The mask around her face began to feel claustrophobic and she was gasping for any air she could get. Suddenly she felt someone lay their hand on her face. _Derek._ His thumb caressed her cheek lightly and she felt her breathing slow. The world came back in to focus and she could here him telling her everything would be okay and to take deep breaths. Meredith squeezed his hand and relaxed into the pillows.

"Are you sure you don't want sedative?" Derek practically begged. Meredith just shook her head slightly. She felt a squeeze on her thigh and looked a little past Derek to see Cristina give her a small half-hearted looked back over at Teddy and nodded. Teddy returned the gesture and went to work removing the stitching on the next tube. Meredith was more prepared this time and simply clung to Derek's hand while he continued stroking her face and whispering nonsense to keep her calm. Teddy removed the second tube easily and disposed of it before turning back to Meredith.

"Alright Meredith this is the last tube but it enters your pericardium so your going to feel a lot more discomfort." Teddy warned as she began working on the last drain. Derek squeezed her hand reassuringly and Cristina gave her a thumbs up behind his back. Meredith felt the familiar pain of the stitches coming out but the pressure that followed was so much worse then the pressure before. Before it was uncomfortable but this flat out hurt. She felt bile rising in her throat and was suddenly very aware of the oxygen mask that covered her mouth. She released her iron grip on Derek's hand and reached for the mask. Derek beat her to it and lifted it off her face slightly knowing she still needed the oxygen.

"Buc-ket." She choked out between the bile and the tears. Everyone jumped into action as the nurse handed Cristina a bowl and Derek stepped out of the way pulling Meredith's hair out of the line of fire and letting the oxygen mask drop around her neck. Cristina reached the bucket in front of her just in time for Meredith to empty the little contents of her stomach. Derek rubbed her back and Teddy applied pressure to her sternum to cushion the incision. Meredith finished her vomiting streak and was eased back into the pillows. The oxygen ask was replaced over her face and she started to relax.

"Yeah that happens sometimes. Honestly between the pain, the meds and the stress I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner." Teddy reassured. Derek retook his position in the chair beside her bed and was holding her hand. His other hand was running through his hair.

"So she's okay? She doesn't have an infection or anything? You're sure?" Derek asked feeling a little frantic. He turned back to Meredith, whose eyes were glazed over with exhaustion and she looked well on her way to sleep.

"She's going to be perfectly fine Derek." Teddy assured. "But before we move her I would like to get her sitting up for a little bit and maybe taking some apple juice.

"But she can't...I mean...it's too soon!" Derek argued. "She just had surgery 36 hours ago."

"I know I also know she has a better and faster recovery the sooner she becomes more mobile." Teddy explained. "I'll let her rest for a while but I'll be back in the afternoon to check up and try to get her moving." And with that she left. Derek turned his attention back to Meredith who was sleeping peacefully. So he leaned back in the chair and watched her rest.

 **A/N So I've uploaded 6 chapters in one day. You may wonder how did I do that? Well truth be told I had these parts of the story written up weeks before hand I've just been working up the courage to publish. So I'm sorry to say the updates from here on out will slow down. I am glad you guys are liking it though and I will try to update ASAP. Keep the reviews coming I really enjoy reading them.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N So last chapter was long and I also realized I never pointed out I don't own characters or have rights to the show. If I did McDreamy would still be alive. So anyway without further ado...**

Two hours later, Derek hadn't budged. His mother had returned and Cristina and Mark had stopped by multiple times, but he remained where he was in case Meredith woke up and needed something. At one point Lexie dropped a duffel bag by his feet saying she had stopped by the house and grabbed him and Meredith some things. A flower arrangement had been dropped off and the card said it was from the Board. Probably an incentive so he wouldn't step down as Chief.

"Too late now." He muttered when he read the card offering condolences and get wells from a bunch of people who had probably never met Meredith. He didn't want to be chief anymore especially if the consequences almost killed his wife and definitely killed their child to be. Eventually everyone caught on to the fact that he was stewing and really wasn't up for conversation. He just sat and stared until Teddy returned mid-afternoon. Meredith had slept the entire time the events of the morning effectively exhausted her.

"Hi" Teddy said entering the room and shutting the door behind her. "We're going to get her sitting up now. We're just waiting on Dr. Torres and the nurse."

"But she...she's exhausted and...it's too early she needs to rest. I don't want her rushed." Derek argued.

"We aren't rushing her. She needs to start being mobile to heal. It'll only be for a few minutes." Teddy attempted to convince Derek but to very little avail.

"But I-" Derek was cut off by his mother.

"For God's sake Derek you know all this. You know she needs to be moving in order to get better. Your judgement is clouded because it's Meredith and that's okay but you need to let the doctors do their job and just be her husband." Carolyn scolded. Derek nodded in defeat. Just then Callie appeared with a nurse in tow.

"Okay looks like we're ready. Derek, you wanna wake her up?"Teddy asked. Derek nodded and leaned over to Meredith's ear.

"Meredith." Derek whispered kissing her cheek. "Meredith wake up." He said again this time squeezing her hand and kissing her gently on the lips. He felt her stir slightly and tried one last time. "Mer please wake up." He said and her eyes opened slowly. "Hey." Derek whispered, kissing her forehead lightly.

"Hi" She responded groggily. Her eyes surveyed the crowd in front of her. Teddy and the nurse were standing at the foot of the bed while Callie was checking on her hand and Carolyn was still in the seat on Meredith's right. "How can I...be of...service?' Meredith asked. Derek chuckled and smoothed her hair back her hair.

"We're going to try and get you sitting up." He explained. "I mean...if you're up to it." Meredith just nodded in response.

"Okay then. Let's get this over with." Teddy said. Her gaze then wandered over to Carolyn who got the hint immediately.

"You know, I should go call the girls. They probably want an update." She said excusing herself and bustling out of the then turned to Callie who started to explain.

"Usually we would have you put your hands on the sides of the bed and have you pull yourself up and support yourself. However your hand that. So your going to use your hand and I'm going to support your elbow." Meredith nodded in understanding. Derek stepped so he was at the head of the bed able to put a hand on her back in support without helping to much. teddy pushed the rail down on the side of the bed as the nurse raised the head of the bed. Meredith winced as she felt her head rising and her incision being stretched not to mention the broken sternum. Teddy grabbed a pillow and pressed it to Meredith's chest in attempts to make the pain more bearable. Slowly Meredith put her good hand on mattress and gripped it firmly. she counted to three in her head and took a deep breath. She eased herself upwards putting most of her weight on her and as Callie supported her elbow. It hurt like hell but she was thankful for the pillow Teddy held to her chest and Derek's supportive hand on her back. Finally she was sitting almost completely on her own. Tears stung the back of her eyes but she refused to let them fall as she sat there for a few minutes until Teddy gave her the okay to lie back down. She relaxed into the pillows as Derek walked into her line of sight.

"You did it!" Derek exclaimed. Meredith just nodded and let the tears fall as a mixture of joy and pain. Derek simply wiped them away and sat back down in his chair holding Meredith's hand.

"Okay so tomorrow I'd like to get some post-op x-rays of that hand and see about getting you into a more permanent cast." Callie said as she scribbled in the chart

"And I'll be back after evening rounds to see about getting your legs swung over the side of the bed and sitting up properly." Teddy said taking the chart from Callie and scribbling her own notes. They all left the room leaving Meredith with Derek once more.

"How are you feeling?" Derek questioned with a hint of concern.

"Okay...tired...sore...but okay." Meredith replied.

"Do you want anything?" Derek asked.

"Water please...and...socks." Derek smiled as he poured her some water and handed it to her turning back to the duffel bag grabbing her a pair of socks. He took the cup from her and pulled back the blanket to reveal her feet. He slid on the socks marveling at how cold her feet were. He pulled the blanket back over her and kissed her lightly.

"I love you." He whispered. She smiled and wanted to return the phrase but was interrupted by the burning need to cough. Derek handed her the pillow and she coughed then handed it back burrowing down into the pillows as much as her aching chest would allow. She looked over at Derek taking in his ragged appearance.

"You should...eat...shower...brush teeth...go home." She said in as demanding of a tone as she could muster. He let out a laughing breath which turned into a full blown laugh when she wrinkled her nose in mock disgust.

"I'm good right here." He assured her.

"You...smell." She smiled at his feigned hurt.

"How about I stick around until you fall asleep?"

"Deal but...follow... through." She mumbled closing her eyes.

"Okay" He breathed standing to kiss her forehead lightly.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N I warn you in advanced this chapter isn't very good. It's mostly filler, I have ideas but I need to get to the point to use them so I just kinda pulled this outta thin air a little. But I hope you like it at least a little. Thanks for the awesome reviews. I've noticed a lot of you hoping for a non-hostile uterus and I honestly have no idea how far I'm gonna go with the story line. If I can work it in there will probably be another McBaby. So without further ado...**

Derek sat by Meredith's bedside until his mother returned about half an hour later.

"How'd she do?" Carolyn whispered as she re-entered the room.

"Great. She took it like a champ.. She sat up for a good five minutes. Wore her out though." Derek told her.

"That's good..You might want to call your sisters before they're on the next plane out here." Carolyn warned him. Derek sighed and raked his hand through his hair before nodding.

"I need to go clean up per her request. I'll call them after. Could you sit with her?" He asked. Carolyn nodded. "Thanks, I probably get one of her friends to come sit too, so she's comfortable." She simply made a shooing motion with her hand. With some reluctance Derek grabbed the duffel bag and headed for the showers. He made a quick detour to Alex Karev's room where he found Lexie sitting vigil by his bedside. Mark standing in the corner and Cristina checking his all looked up when he came in.

"Hey, Meredith's asleep with with my mother, but I was wondering if one of you could go sit with her as well? In case she wakes up, I don't want her more uncomfortable than she already is." He heard Cristina mutter something that sounded a lot like "whipped" under her breath than she turned to look at Lexie.

"You haven't left his bedside for more than five minutes aside from the first night. It's been almost two days you need a change of scenery. I'll stay with him you go sit with Mer." Cristina ordered. Lexie looked like she wanted to argue but Cristina gave him a death glare. Lexie hung her head and trudged out knowing she wouldn't win an argument. Derek turned and headed for the showers. He almost ran head on into Richard Webber.

"Derek!" Richard exclaimed. "How's Meredith?"

"She's...okay. She's hanging in there, she was sitting up today so that's good." Derek says, trying to be short so he can go get a shower and get back to Meredith. Unfortunately Richard doesn't get the hint.

"Good good, I just want to let you know the board has appointed me interim chief so you can spend as much time as you need with Meredith." He informed Derek.

"Thanks Richard." Derek hesitated wondering if now was the time to step down, he decided against it seeing as how it would prolong the conversation. Richard simply nodded finally getting the hint.

"It's my pleasure." Richard said clapping him on the back. "I'll let you get back." And with that he walks away and Derek makes a beeline for the showers..

After a shower, a shave, and some food Derek sat in the cafeteria with coffee and his phone on the table. He stared at his phone working himself for the phone calls ahead of him. He looked up when Mark sat down beside him.

"Ya know, staring at it doesn't automatically make it call people." Mark joked. "Also I poked my head in on Meredith on my way down here. She's doing fine, still asleep. Oh and Lexie and Ma are really hitting it off." Derek nodded and smiled pleased Mark thought to check in on Meredith and that she was doing okay. "Preparing to call the sisters?"

"How'd you know?"

"Because if it was anyone else you would've called them already." Derek sighed in resignation and frustration.

"I don't know what to say. I'm okay but I'm not and Meredith definitely isn't okay? That sounds crazy."

"It kind of does." Mark smiled but turned serious. "Just tell them the situation Derek. They're doctors they're gonna want the facts. Let the feelings come after and if they ask lie a little." Derek nodded.

"Okay I can do that." Derek said sucking in a breath and picking up the phone and dialing the number that popped up first, Amelia's.

Close to an hour later, Mark had long since left and Derek had finished up talking to his sisters. After some explaining and reassuring that he was okay and they didn't need to come out, they had wished him well and hoped Meredith would get better. He sat for a moment collecting his thoughts before he ordered three coffees and an apple juice. Afterwards he headed back to Meredith's room. When he got there he was happy to see her awake and in relativly good spirits.

"Hey" He said kissing her gently on the lips after he distributed the coffees and placed her apple juice on the table by the wall.

"Good...you're here." She smiled her voice still hoarse. "Play...blame game...with Lexie." She grinned somewhat wickedly while Carolyn snickered and Lexie looked embarrassed. Derek looked a little confusedly at the scene in front of me.

"Okay someone enlighten me." He said.

"Well Meredith and I have spent the past five or so minutes convincing Lexie this wasn't her fault. Meredith figured if we put you two against each other you'd say it enough to the other you might start to believe it yourselves.: Carolyn explained to him. Derek looked down at Lexie.

"I unplugged his wife!" Lexie defended.

"On my orders." Derek retorted. "If this is anyone's fault it's mine." Meredith picked up the pillow she'd used to hold to her chest when she coughed, and attempted to throw it at him. Unfortunately she was still to weak so instead she looked pleadingly at Carolyn who obliged and walked over to the other side of the bed and beat her son with the pillow. Carolyn handed Meredith the pillow as she began to giggle which was a surefire way to lead to coughing. She clutched the pillow to her chest as she cleared her lungs for the umpteenth time. She eased back into the pillows.

"Neither of you...were holding...the...gun." Meredith whispered solemnly. And with that the conversation all sat in silence for a few minutes until Meredith broke the silence. "You smell...lot...better." Derek smiled

"Thank you." He chuckled relieved her sense of humor was coming back. "I got you something too." He said grabbing the apple juice off the table behind him. He poked the straw in and handed it to Meredith who looked at him unsure. "I cleared it with Teddy she wants you to try something other than water." He encouraged her and she took a sip. She swallowed a bit painfully and handed the juice back to him. Her eyelids began to droop. Realizing this Lexie excused herself to go back to Alex and Derek took her seat.

"You should sleep before Teddy gets back. You have a good hour and a half." Derek whispered, Meredith nodded with her eyes closed.

"You...too." She whispered. he nodded and kissed her lightly while brushing the stray hair out of her face. He grabbed her hand and put his head down on the bed letting the exhaustion wash over him as they fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N So this chapter starts out as a dream in case you don't catch onto that._ I like this chapter. It's mostly Meredith and Derek and as Meredith is getting better they are able to talk more so the story is picking up a little. I personally like the last bit of this. I also appreciate all the reviews and I'm glad you guys like the story. I'm trying to update but the heat is sucking it all out of me! Anyways, without further ado...**

 _There was so much blood...blood everywhere. The bullet hole was a huge gaping eyesore. It kept getting bigger...more blood spilling out by the second. There was nothing anyone could do, There was screaming...and crying...but it didn't accomplish anything. There was a small child...sex unreadable...watching the whole thing. It seemed to be floating above the whole scene. It watched the blood continue to spill out. The crying continued._

"Derek!" He sat bolt upright taking in his surroundings. Meredith was in front of him, alive in front of him. She was stirring, cracking her eyes open ever so slightly. He took a deep breath and sighed in relief. He looked around the rest of the way and saw Cristina standing at the end of the bed looking at him concerned and bewildered.

"What?" He asked innocently, knowing what she's going to say.

"I thought Mer said you were a light sleeper. It took me a good three minutes to get you awake. I was afraid you were going to to wake her and she would freak out and over do it." Cristina's voice was sarcastic but her could see the concern on her face.

"Freak...out about...what?" Meredith asked her voice laced with sleepiness and pain. Derek shot Cristina a look of warning praying she wouldn't say anything to Meredith, who had enough on her plate anyways.

"Nothing." He reassured her cupping her face with his hand. "How're you feeling?" Meredith just shook her head.

"No...tell me." Meredith insisted. Derek sighed and opened his mouth to talk but didn't get a chance because the door swung open and Dr. Altman walked in. Cristina took the oppurtunity to slip out into the hallway.

"Ah Grey you're awake." Teddy exclaimed as she enters the room. Seeing the apple juice still on the table she smiled. "And you've been drinking apple juice, good.". She smiled again.

"Sit up...now?" Meredith asked expectantly. Teddy simply nodded, and began preparing the room as Derek moved out of the way to allow her to prepare. Everything is quickly set up and Teddy began to instruct Meredith on what to do.

"Okay Grey so you're just going to swing your legs over and use your good hand to sit up." Derek had shifted to Meredith's right side to help support her bad hand. He gave her a supportive smile.

"Ready?" He asked gently. She nodded and took a big breath in. Slowly she swung her legs over the side of the bed and placed all her weight on her good arm. She grimaced as pain shot through her chest in protest to her actions. But she continued on anyways, slowly lifting her hand off the bed as she moved it to clutch the pillow to her chest. Teddy stepped back allowing Meredith to sit on her own unsupported. She was doing it, she was sitting on her own. Derek came around the bed and crouched down in front of her.

"I'm proud of you." He told her, using his thumb to push stray pieces of hair behind her ear. Meredith just nodded. all her breath was going into the effort of sitting up. She didn't have any left for talking. So he stayed in his position on the floor cheering her on until the five minutes were up. Then she slowly eased herself back into the bed with some help from Teddy and Derek. Teddy gave her some ice chips after scribbling some notes in Meredith's chart then left the room. Meredith was wiped, Derek could see that, but there was also a glint of determination in her eyes. He though she was just pleased she managed to sit up but he was poorly mistaken.

"What...happ-ened?" She asked, her voice rough with exhaustion and pain.

"Nothing important, get some sleep you need rest," He told her trying to avoid the subject of the nightmare.

"No...won't...until you..." Her words were cut off by the urge to cough which couldn't be suppressed any longer. Derek could practically feel the exhaustion radiating her, but he knew she wouldn't willingly give up on what was wrong with him. He sighed in resignation.

"I had a nightmare about..." Derek trailed off but he didn't need to finish his sentence. Meredith squeezed his hand lightly.

"I know...me too." Meredith whispered barely loud enough to hear. Derek nodded and gave her a reassuring squeeze of the hand.

"It'll get better...it has to." But his words fell on deaf ears as she had already fallen asleep. She wasn't snoring which was disconcerting for Derek, but a common side effect from surgery. He just hoped it would return soon.

The next morning Meredith awoke to the sound of crinkling plastic. She slowly opened her eyes and blinked as she adjusted to the light. She saw Derek in the chair next to her where he'd been for the past three days. There was a large Edible Arrangements on the table behind him and Derek held a small card in hsi hand. His brow was furrowed and he scoffed at the words of the card.

"What's that?" Meredith croaked. Derek jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Hey you're awake." He said, and chuckled when she rolled her eyes at his obvious comment. "It's another arrangement from the Board, they're trying to bribe me into not quitting."

"Can't eat...solids." She giggled slightly at the stupidity of the Board of a _hospital_ no less. Derek laughed too at the thought.

"I'll give it to the nurses or something." He told her to avoid the temptation. But Meredith's thoughts and his words had caught up with her.

"Wait you...you're...quitting?" She asked, surprised and bewildered. Derek just shrugged.

"Well probably, I mean, I hate the job. Too much paperwork. Besides it got you shot. I don't want the jobs if it's consequences involve you." Derek explained. He looked at her expectantly, trying to read her expression as she turned this over in her head.

"Okay" She agreed.

"Okay?"

"Too tired...just don't...don't do it...cuz of me." She whispered hoarsely. Derek couldn't help but smile. She had gotten shot because of his job and she still cared about his career. He had made the choice long before she had gotten shot but the incident had given him the bravery to go back to doing what he loved.

"They're going to do tests this morning but you can sleep, okay?" Meredith simply nodded her head and pretty quickly her breathing had evened out. Derek reached over and grabbed a strawberry from the arrangement and bit into it. He immediately suppressed the urge to spit it out as it was insanely sour.


	10. Chapter 10

Meredith could still sleep through bombings, at least the shooting hadn't changed that. When the orderlies had come to get her for an MRI she didn't even stir. It was when she went for the x-ray of her hand that the jostling of her body woke her up. She started to panic until Derek appeared almost directly over her, running his hands through her hair.

"Hey hey, it's okay you're just getting an x-ray, go back to sleep." He soothed her gently. She nodded and swallowed, trying to ignore the burning prickly sensation ripping through her throat and chest and the pain radiating through her hand. She desperately wanted to ask for water but she couldn't form the words so she closed her eyes and hoped that would make sleep come. It came very quickly to relieve her recovering body and she slept through the rest of the tests, including a follow up exam from OB. Derek was thankful Meredith was asleep for that part, he could barely stand the idea of it. They brought her back to her room to sleep with hopes of having her in a regular room by that night. Having returned from the hotel to see her son's distraught state, Carolyn sent Derek home after much fighting and back and forth. Carolyn sat by Meredith's bedside and promised to call if Meredith or she needed anything. Carolyn used the time to call the Shepherd sisters and give them an update. At this point Meredith began to stir.

"I gotta go Lizzie, I'll keep you updated. Say hi to the kids for me." And with that Carolyn hung up turning her attention to Meredith whose eyelids fluttered open. Her eyes flicked around taking in her surroundings before landing on the apple juice Carolyn handed her. She took it and sipped slowly, enjoying the relief to her burning throat.

"Hi." Meredith whispered hoarsely.

"Morning dear." Carolyn greeted. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay...I guess."

"That's good."

"Derek?" Meredith asked noticing he was gone gone his post at her bedside.

"I sent him home to shower and clean up, hiding it as an excuse to help you. I can call him if you want." Carolyn told her.

"No...s'okay...maybe he'll sleep." Meredith said Carolyn laughed.

"Oh I think he's much to stubborn for that"

"Wishful...thinking." Meredith smiled trying not to giggle as it would probably cause more horrendous coughing. Carolyn smiled.

"Well he's always been quite stubborn.' Carolyn reminisced. "Once, when he was young, his father had to stay late at the store, but Derek really wanted to play some football with him. So he stayed outside, well after dark, until his father came home. All so he could play some football." Meredith smiled at the thought, until another one crossed her mind.

"This must...really...suck for him." Meredith's eyes became a little watery. "I mean...his dad...me...and ...he saw." Carolyn gave her a look of understanding. Meredith furiously blinked back tears. This wasn't for her to cry about.

"Derek was devastated when he died. He refused to talk to anyone,and chances are he will probably do it again to some degree now. But you know how to do what I could never seem to manage, you can get him to talk, so I suggest you use that skill. Because to some degree that same broken look is still in his eyes." Carolyn warned. Meredith thought about the sad look that had been plaguing his brilliantly blue eyes. He was hurting but she could barely sit up on her own let alone hold him and tell him everything would be okay.

"I can't...hold him...make it better...I can't and...it hurts...that he hurts...and I...I can't fix it." The simple sentence caused Meredith to erupt into a coughing fit. Carolyn simply rubbed her back and whispered soothing words. When it was over Carolyn gave her some water, and Meredith handed it back with a smile on her face.

"I never...had a mom...before."

"Well you had to have had someone darling?"

"Nannies...dad left...when I was 5...mother always...worked." Carolyn looked at her sympathetically and placed a supporting hand on Meredith's arm.

"Well I can't go back in time and fix this for you but I would like to maybe fill in a little bit of the space. If that's okay with you." Meredith nodded and smiled. "Good" Carolyn said. "Now as a mother I'm going to tell you to get some sleep so you have energy to get up and walking today." Meredith nodded obediently.

"But...we'll talk more?" She whispered lying back into the pillows.

"Oh sweetie, of course. Officially consider yourself one of my girls" Meredith couldn't help but grin at the thought of having a real family not just her dysfunctional group of friends and Lexie. Her eyelids felt heavy once more and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Meredith awoke about two hours later to Derek gently kissing her cheek and whispering in her ear.

"Mmmm that's a nice way to wake up." She flushed slightly when she noticed Callie and Cristina standing at the end of the bed. Cristina raised an eyebrow and Callie tried, and failed miserably, to keep her expression passive. Derek just chuckled and kissed her chastely on the lips. Cristina cleared her throat and both Meredith and Derek straightened up.

"So...we're gonna get you up and walking and then we're going to take you downstairs to a regular room." Callie said motioning to the wheelchair parked against the wall. Meredith nodded and Cristina began to raise the bed up. Meredith repeated the process from the night before, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and sitting up on her own. Derek stood next to her keeping the hand on the small of her back supportively. Cristina wheeled the I. within Meredith's reach. She latched onto it and gripped it so tightly her knuckles turned white. Very slowly she slid forward until her feet touched the ground. Then she leaned forward and at snail like speed eased herself off the bed. She put most of her weight on the I.V. pole and buried her teeth into her lower lip. Derek had his hand on her back still, except now it was moving up and down. Meredith slowly shuffled her feet forward. It felt like it was an eternity before she had made it the 6 feet to the wheelchair. Derek helped her turn and sit down and when she finally sat he crouched in front of her.

"I'm proud of you." He whispered, brushing her hair back from her face. She nodded and swallowed hard. Cristina moved and handed her a pillow which she clutched onto tightly. Derek laid a blanket over her lap as Cristina moved the I.V. pole onto the wheelchair. Derek grabbed the two duffel bags he'd brought from the house earlier and opened the door. Cristina wheeled Meredith out and Callie trailed behind.

Meredith had a private room on the cardio floor. There was a bread basket sitting on the bed. Derek knew exactly who it was from without reading the card. Apparently Cristina did too.

"Jeez for the board of a major metropolitan hospital you would think they'd understand post-op protocol better." She muttered under her breath. Derek and Callie nodded and Meredith smiled a little. Derek moved the basket off the bed and pulled back the covers. Cristina moved the I.V. back into place and put it in Meredith's reach. The process from earlier was repeated, except this time the bed was closer. Meredith shuffled over to the bed, slower this time, and sat down. She slowly eased herself into the bed with the help of Derek who then tucked her in.

"Are you comfortable?' He asked gently stroking her cheek. She nodded weakly, completely drained from the trek she had just embarked on.

"Okay Mer, Teddy will be in a little later to talk about the plan from here on out so you just rest until then. The catheter's out so you are free to pee in an actual toilet." Cristina said and everyone smiled at her last comment.

"Your x-rays look great There is nothing to worry about, you'll be back in the OR in no time." Callie filled them in and Derek nodded. Cristina and Callie left, and Derek turned back to Meredith.

"Do you need anything?" He murmured against the top of her head. He stuck his nose into her hair, but was disappointed to find the comforting flowery scent had been replaced with the sterile smell of the hospital pillows.

"Yeah"She whispered. "C'mere" She patted the side of the bed with her good hand and motioned for him to lie next to her.

"But I...I could...and I don't..." He trailed off as she gave him her best pleading look. He sighed in resignation, he desperately wanted this too. "Okay." She scooted over as far as she could trying not to wince and discourage him. He grabbed a pillow and stuffed it between them, trying to cushion her chest. Derek slowly pulled himself up beside her and draped an arm gently over her abdomen. "Good?"

"Good." She whispered it barely audible

"I love you."

"You too." And with that they both fell asleep.

 **A/N Holy Crap that took way to long to update! I'm sorry, I don't really have an excuse other than that school is ending and I feel like I'm going crazy. So I hope you liked chapter 10. There was a lot of heart to heart. It's a little hard because I'm trying to accurately portray Meredith's recovery and that means talking is choppy and hard, and she gets tired easily. So the important conversations are yet to come and the ones that have happened will be built on. But more good stuff aside from that is to come. ANyways hope you guys like. Keep the reviews coming!**


	11. Chapter 11

Derek awoke to something struggling in his arms. He slowly peeled his eyes open, but sat up in panic at the sight of Meredith struggling to sit up.

"Hey hey what're you doing?" He asked, trying to get her to lay down.

"I...gotta pee." She grunted still trying to sit up.

"Okay here." Derek offered, hopping off the bed and holding his hand out to her."At least let me help you." Meredith rolled her eyes but took his hand. She wrapped her good arm around his waist and he reciprocated the action. Grabbing her I.V. pole he guided her to the bathroom and she leaned heavily on him. He opened the door for her and handed the I.V. pole off to her, knowing she would throw a fit if he tried to follow her. He waited for her on the other side of the door suppressing the urge to call out and make sure she was okay multiple times. Eventually the door clicked open and Meredith shuffled out. Derek took the I.V. from her and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. She leaned most of her weight on him and he practically carried her back to bed. He helped her back into bed. "Do you need anything?" He whispered.

"Umm...wat-er" She croaked exhaustedly. He filled a cup and handed it to her. She barely had the energy to lift her hand let alone hold a cup, so Derek ended up holding it for her. She laid back in the pillows and winced as her chest complained to her recent actions. "I...really...hate this." She whispered, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh Mer...I'm sorry. I wish i could fix this,or trade places, or so SOMETHING. But I can't fix this and I'm sorry." Derek took her hand and dropped into the uncomfortable hospital chair next to her bed.

"I know..." Meredith breathe. "And I...love you for...for it." Derek felt slightly reassured by her words. She loved him, she didn't blame him for her situation, no matter how much she hated it.

"I love you too." Her eyelids fluttered closed, and Derek simply leaned back in the chair and watched still holding her hand. He felt his eyelids drop as well, and the next thing he knows someone is shaking him. He jumped up frantically thinking something was wrong with Meredith. She was asleep still, and her stats were stable. He turned to find a police officer standing behind him looking a little surprised.

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to startle you." He paused a moment as if debating how to continue. "Are you Dr. Derek Shepherd?"

"Uh, yeah I am but...I gave my statement already." The officer smiled sympathetically.

"I'm aware, I'm not here for you. I need a statement from Dr. Meredith Grey."

"I...uh...you can't...I mean you shouldn't. Not right now, she needs rest not stress." Derek stumbled over the words trying to think of anything that could put off the interrogation of his already fragile wife.

"I apologize sir, but this can't be put off any longer." Derek bit his lip and looked towards Meredith who was still sleeping peacefully. He looked back at the officer who looked insanely apologetic. Derek sighed and his shoulders dropped in defeat. He turned back to Meredith and let her enjoy a last few seconds of sleep before placing a hand on her shoulder and shaking it lightly. She stirred and he moved his hand to her cheek.

"Meredith, wake up." He whispered. She moaned a little and her eyelids started to flutter. "Hey" She quickly noted the look of pain and terror written across his face.

"What?" She asked softly. Derek stepped aside revealing the police officer. "Oh" She whispered. The time had come for her to relive the horrific events of the day she almost died. The police officer stepped forward.

"Dr. Grey, my name is Deputy Matt LeRue. I apologise for waking you, but we need your statement." He said it with the similar detached sympathy that hey, as doctors, used when giving a patient bad news. Meredith looks between Derek, who face shows real concern and Deputy LeRue's which is a mastered look of sympathy. She swallowed thickly and nods. Derek brushed her hair back from her face. The deputy smiles them apologetically. "I'm sorry , but you can't be in here during this process."

"But..I-" Derek began to argue, but Meredith squeezed his hand.

"It's okay...I...I can do it." She reassured Derek. He was torn. It was obvious Meredith wanted him to stay but he couldn't. Reluctantly he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.

"Get me if you need me,. I love you." He whispered in her ear before kissing the top of her head and exiting the room slowly. He shudders at the memory of his police interrogation.

 _"In as much detail as possible, describe the events of Wednesday, May 17th 2010."_ He remembers every detail, but he really wished he didn't. He decides to go get some coffee before sitting down to update his sisters. As he passes the waiting room he spots two familiar heads of dark brown hair. When he stops to do a double take one of the heads shoots up.

"Derek!" Lizzie shrieked, running at him throwing her arms around his neck. Nancy followed in a much more calm and elegant fashion.

"H-hi...what're you guys doing here?" He asked slowly. Nancy's face immediately hardened.

"What,we fly across the country to make sure you're okay, and you aren't even happy to see us?"

"No I am, it's just..."

"The slutty intern." Nancy finished smirking slightly. Drek's blood boiled at the long forgotten term that his sister clearly hadn't forgotten.

"Yes the _faithful resident_ whom I love very much, and is currently recovering from a GSW to the chest and right hand, while currently giving her statement to the police has had me quite distracted." Derek snarled. Nancy was taken aback by her brother's harsh words. Before she could reply Lizzie stepped in.

"Okay, relax. We'll do this at Meredith's pace, seeing has how she's the one with her hands tied, pardon the pun. We're just worried Derek." He sighed. He loved his sisters but they could be very frustrating. Before he could say anything a nurse rushed up to him.

"Dr. Shepherd, it's Dr. Grey, she's asking for you now." The nurse's panicked tone sends him running for Meredith's room.

 **A/N OOOOHHHHH cliffhanger! And the Shepherd sisters are here! I'm glad I got this up for you guys today and I really hope you enjoyed it. I need a little advice on what the sisters should be like. I want Nancy to keep her bitchy personality at least for a little while. Anywho keep the reviews coming they're great motivation, _wink wink_ , **


	12. Chapter 12

When Derek entered Meredith's room, he found her sitting forward clutching a pillow to her chest and sobbing violently. A nurse was trying to get an oxygen mask over her face, which she was refusing, and the monitors were beeping loudly. Deputy LeRue stood in the corner looking slightly guilty. Derek was immediately at the side of the bed grabbing Meredith's good hand, placing his other hand on her back gently sliding his hand up and down her spine.

"Hey shhh, it's okay, you're okay. Deep breaths, in and out." She began to calm down, until Derek asked. "What happened?"

"I...he...I...asked...can't..." Meredith started to sob again. Derek glared at the deputy who looked like he wanted to disappear into the wall.

"What the hell did you say to her?!" Derek growled, wrapping his arms protectively around Meredith, who laid her head on his chest, still sobbing. through the oxygen mask the nurse had finally managed to get her to wear.

"I...um...needed to know about the miscarriage." He all but whispered, staring at the ground ashamed.

"That isn't for you to know!" Derek practically yelled. Meredith clung to him tighter, still crying.

"Well it's just that we need as much information as we can get, and I'm still not done so-" Derek cut him off.

"Get out. NOW!" He growled. The officer took the opportunity and scurried out of the room. He turned his attention back to his wife. Her sobs had turned into hiccups and she had relaxed into him, but her good hand still had an iron grip on his shirt. He simply removed her injured hand from his waist, placing back on the pillow shoved between her and the bed railing, and climbed into bed with her. Her body immediately curled into his, as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Love...you" She mumbled through the oxygen mask.

"I love you too." He murmured into her hair. He wanted to warn her about his sisters, but her eyes had drifted shut and her grip on him had loosened considerably. So he just stayed where he was, running his hands through her hair and occasionally kissing the top of her head. Derek practically fell out of the bed when he felt someone lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Woah relax, it's just me."

"Jeez Lizzie you scared me."

"Yeah I got that by your reaction" Lizzie smirked. "And don't worry I sent Nancy off with Mark to find Mom."

"Thanks" Derek muttered, sitting up carefully as not to disturb Meredith. "It's not that I'm not happy to see you guys, you just caught me by surprise. And Meredith's already suffered enough emotional trauma in the past three days, she really doesn't need Nancy added to the mix."

"Not even a sane person needs Nancy added to the mix." Derek chuckled.

"Yeah"

"Does she know we're here?" Lizzie asked motioning to Meredith's sleeping form. Derek sighed running his hand through his hair.

"No. She uh, the police officer asked some personal questions and they ah, set off a bit of a panic attack." Derek cringed at all the memories that came flooding back. "It sort of seemed like a bad time." Lizzie nodded.

"I meant what I said about doing this at her pace, but I would like to meet her."

"I know I just...don't want her to be overwhelmed. This is all a new and scary situation. I guess I'll leave it up to her." Derek looked at Meredith sadly.

"Okay. I'm gonna go call Kath. She wanted to come but she's swamped with work and the kids and stuff, so we'll see if she can come eventually." Derek nodded.

"What about Amy?" Lizzie sighed.

"She won't pick up the phone." She explained with a hint of disappointment. Derek nodded well aware of how his little sister holds grudges. Lizzie slipped out the door and Derek took a seat in the uncomfortable hospital chair. He doesn't stay there for long though as his stomach growled. He sighed, he needed food but didn't want to leave Meredith all alone. Slowly he got up and went to the door, sticking his head out. He felt relieved when he saw Bailey making her way down the hall.

"Bailey!" He called down the hall. She didn't acknowledge him so he tried again. "Dr. Bailey!" This time she turned around. She looked drained both mentally an physically.

"Yes Chief?" She snapped slightly sarcastically.

"I um...need someone to sit with Meredith while I go get something to eat." He gave her a pleading look.

"Grey's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"I know but...she just...I'm worried about her and..." Derek trailed off. When Bailey opened her mouth again she spoke in a much softer tone.

"Relax Derek I'll sit with her." She shooed him off and entered Meredith's room, right as she began to wake. She panicked when she realized Derek was no longer in the bed until sh spotted her former resident.

"Dr. Bai-ley." Meredith smiled.

"Dr. Grey, glad your still with us." She said with her usual level of Bailey snark.

"Me too" Meredith whispered. "You...hovering...for Derek?"

"That boy is so lovesick it's crazy." Bailey scoffed. Meredith simply nodded.

"Last time...I was alone...got shot...let him...ride out."

"Oh no Grey don't you get all romantic on me too." Meredith giggled which turned into dry coughs. Bailey handed her a cup of partially melted ice chips, which she sucked on gratefully. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Meredith spoke up.

"What...what happened?" She croaked.

"You know this. a shooter came-" Meredith held up her hand to stop her.

"I meant...to you...What's your side...in this?" Bailey sighed and Meredith laid back in the pillows waiting for Bailey to spill.

"I was stuck in a room with a patient during the lockdown..." She began and proceeded to tell her former intern about how Charles Percy died in her arms, with a final wish to tell Reed Adamson how he felt, only to find out she'd been killed as well. Meredith simply listened to her mentor relive, in her memory, the worst day of her life. At the end of her story Meredith reached her hand out to Bailey.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as Bailey took her hand.

"Grey you have nothing to apologize for." Bailey's stern tone softened. "Thank God SWAT showed up when they did. I couldn't..." Meredith squeezed her hand in understanding. They shared a moment of peace before the ache in Meredith's chest became to much and she withdrew her hand. They both regressed into their own thoughts. Meredith succumbing to the drug induced haze her eyes glazed over staring into the distance. Bailey sat there watching her former student and thanking God this girl had survived another tragedy. She turned her head when Derek returned.

"Hey. How is she?" He whispered thinking Meredith was asleep.

"Awake...and okay." Meredith snickered at the look of surprise that flashed across his face.

"Well my work here is done." Bailey announced standing up leaving the room. Derek set a bag on the rolling table and leaned in to kiss Meredith's forehead.

"Teddy said she wanted to try getting you on some solid food so I got you some applesauce and scrambled eggs." Meredith nodded, lying back into the pillows.

"Can it...wait a...a little while?" She whispered exhaustion evident in her voice. Derek nodded. "C'mere." She patted the bed beside her. Derek sat beside her, careful not to jostle her healing body. "I love you." She croaked fighting to keep her eyes open.

"I love you too." Derek smoothed her hair back kissing her gently, before lying down next to her, as he too fell asleep.

 **A/N I got you guys off the cliff...you're welcome. So I touched on the miscarriage and the sisters. There will definitely be more sister action next chapter and a surprise visitor. Stay tuned and keep the updates coming**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N So I know I said more sister action in this chapter. I lied, only a little though. But there is still a special guest and the sisters are talked about, they just don't show up in person. Anywho, without further ado...**

Derek didn't stay asleep for long. He was restless and couldn't close his eyes without images of that horrible day flashing through his head. He carefully wriggled himself out of the tiny hospital bed, trying not to disturb Meredith. He went about tidying up the room and making it more "homey". He put clothes in the small dresser and organized the many vases of flowers on top. He put the toiletries in the bathroom and put all the cards on the rolling table so Meredith could read them if she wanted to. He pulled the blanket that usually resided on the foot of their bed and draped it over Meredith and placed his pillow from home next to her and her pillow on the couch he would be sleeping on until Meredith was discharged. Derek was going through the last of the contents of the duffel bag when there was a knock at the door. It slowly opened to reveal Larry Jennings the Chairman of the Board.

"Mr. Jennings" Derek greeted curtly. He wasn't particularly fond of the man who stood in front of him.

"Good morning Dr. Shepherd." Jennings smiled which looked quite forced. Derek looked at the small clock that resided on the bedside table. It read 6:45 am. Between all the chaos of the day before time had gotten away from him. Maybe he'd slept longer than he thought. He was pulled from his head when Mr. Jennings started to speak again. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to stop by sooner but I've had a lot on my plate with the events of the past few days. But I wanted to check up on the misuses myself. Also you and I have a few things we need to discuss." Derek stared in disbelief at the man in front of him. His wife had been shot and he wanted to talk about the events that had gotten her shot and nearly killed.

"My wife was shot." Derek stated after a moment of awkward silence. "She almost died, we lost a child and her surgical career might be over. And you have the audacity to come in here and discuss what was probably one of the worst days of my life? On top of all of that, you want me to resume my position as chief after all that has happened. No I refuse. I don't want the job that almost cost me my entire family." Derek gripped Meredith's hand. Even if she was asleep he needed her . Jennings looked flustered.

"Dr. Shepherd, you shouldn't make such rash decisions under so much stress. You should consult your wife."

"All due respect Larry, if I shouldn't be making rash decisions under high stress, then I shouldn't be a surgeon or in charge of a surgical staff." Derek raked his hand through his hair. He knew this would be difficult but he also knew it was right.

"I really think you should discuss this with your wife-" Mr. Jennings began but was cut off.

"He has" Both men jumped at the sound of Meredith's voice.

"Good morning" Derek smiled giving her a peck on the lips. She wiggled her fingers a little in his grip and it was just then he realized how tight his hold on her hand was. "Sorry" He mouthed loosening his grip.

"Mrs. Shepherd, nice to see you again." Mr. Jennings spoke up.

"Dr Grey" She corrected.

"Excuse me?"

"My name...Dr. Grey." She said confidently. Mr. Jennings looked flustered. He was trying to keep his Chief of Surgery and addressing his wife incorrectly was not the way to do it. Meredith continued talking. 'You sh-should...brush up on...on patient care...I need rest...I would think...as chairman of...of hospital board...and...former patient...you would...would understand that." Her throat burned and her chest ached, but she said what needed to be said. Sensing her discomfort Derek handed her some water and gently brushed her hair back from her face.

"Right of course. My apologies Mrs...Dr Grey." Mr. Jennings made a quick escape from the room and Derek turned his attention to Meredith, whose eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths.

"You okay?" He whispered softly in her ear. She nodded slightly.

"Yeah...I just...lot of words" She croaked.

"Okay" He smiled. "That was awesome by the way." Meredith smiled too. "Do you want to try eating some of the applesauce from earlier and see if that will stay down?" Meredith nodded slightly finally opening her eyes. He grabbed the container of applesauce and a spoon and handed it to Meredith. She raised the bed up so she was sitting. Derek opened the applesauce and set it on the rolling table in front of Meredith. She went to take a bite of the applesauce but eating with her left hand proved to be difficult.

"Damn" She muttered as she spilled applesauce down the front of her gown.

"It's okay you needed a shower anyways." Derek said taking the spoon from her and dipping it in the applesauce.

"Hey!" She protested. "I smell...fine...and I'm...not 5"

"No you smell...wrong though." He said handing her the spoon with the applesauce on it. "And I'm helping. Think of this as an opportunity to improve your surgical dexterity. It'll make you a better surgeon." Meredith's demeanor immediately changed and she looked down at her lap. "Hey" Derek whispered tipping her chin up with his finger. "You will operate again. I promised I wouldn't let you lose your hand and I meant it. Everything will be okay." She nodded a tear escaping her eye. Derek brushed it away and kissed her forehead.

"I know...just...hard." Meredith played with a few loose threads. on the blanket and smiled a little. "You...got...from home." She held up the blanket. Derek nodded and pointed at the pillow that was squashed in the bed beside her. Meredith's smile grew. "Thank you."

"You are very welcome. Now how about that shower." Derek felt warm with how happy she was in that small moment. He helped her stand and guided her to the bathroom. He undid her gown and made sure the bandages were covered. He started the water and helped her to one of the shower benches, before stripping and joining her in the shower. They soaked for a moment before Meredith spoke up.

"I haven't...seen...your mom." She pointed out.

"Yeah um...my sisters, Nancy and Lizzie, sort of...um showed up unexpectedly yesterday. She's been dealing with the,." Meredith's expression turned surprised.

"But...I said..." She trailed off dumbstruck.

"I know and I told them to stay at home but they didn't listen and now they're here and I'm sorry." Derek spoke really fast. Even injured his wife could be scary.

"Do I...have to ...talk?"

"Not if you don't want to. I'll make sure of it."

"Okay"

 **A/N So I hoped you liked it. I just wanted to announce that I've posted a one shot called "I'm Sick". It's MerDer and it's pretty self explanatory. Also I'm going to publish another multi-chapter called "Watch What You Say" the first chapter will go up shortly after this. It is also MerDer from the season 8 opener so it will be a little rough. I am officially on summer break so updates should stay the same. Leave a review and I hope you come back for more!**


	14. Chapter 14

Meredith had regressed into her thoughts after Derek's revelation. Derek had helped her finish showering and she had changed into a pair of sweats and a shirt Derek had brought her. He guided her back to the bed and helped her lay down and get comfortable. It was only then that she spoke.

"I'm not...mad...just...confused." She whispered turning to look at Derek. He felt a wave of relief wash over him as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"It's okay. No one is pressuring you here Meredith." She glared at him.

"But I...I don't...feel that way" She leaned forward as she began to cough. Derek rubbed her back and handed her some water. He gave her a minute to regroup before speaking again.

"Look I would love for you to meet my family, and I know my family that hasn't met you would love to as well. But this isn't the way I wanted to you to meet them." He paused choosing his next words carefully. "It is hard for me to sit here and watch you be in pain that I can't fix. And if my family heightens that pain, then I will board the door shut, however if you think you can handle it then I will support you and step in if it gets to be too much. I love you and if you want to meet my family that's fine but if you don't then I'll still love you." Meredith's eyelids were fluttering and he could tell she wanted to say more but didn't have the energy.

"I..." She began but Derek cut her off.

"Shhh. It's okay. Sleep on it, you're exhausted." He whispered kissing her on the forehead gently. Meredith considered arguing but gave in to her exhaustion. Her eyelids shut and her breathing equaled out. Derek pulled a granola bar from the bag of food he had brought earlier and began to munch on it, when the door opened. Derek turned to see Nancy walk in followed by Mark who shot Derek and apologetic look.

"Is the slutty intern going to let you spend time with you're family?" Derek rolled his eyes.

"I have been spending time with my family. Unfortunately she is recovering from a major operation and doesn't have a lot of energy and needs a lot of support. Which I am happy to do because she is the love of my life." Nancy looked taken aback and Mark snickered quietly in the corner. Which turned into a half-hearted cough when Nancy glared at him.

"Oh please Derek. When are you going to give this mid-life crisis up?" Nancy scoffed. Everyone was to wrapped up in the argument to notice Meredith open her eyes.

"When are you going to get it through your thick skull that this isn't a midlife crisis?" Derek retorted trying to keep his voice down as he though Meredith was still asleep.

"When the girl is actually age appropriate for you and isn't just looking for sex and money!" Nancy shrieked. Meredith had to fight the urge to start crying so she closed her eyes and attempted to keep her breaths even.

"Seriously Nancy? Even if that were the case, which it isn't, I would give her the world because I love her. Had I been earlier I would've jumped in front of the bullet for her." Derek felt a lump form in his throat and Meredith ached to reach out and comfort him but she was more interested in seeing where this went.

"Honestly Derek the girl never had a father. She's just looking for an older man to fill the gap. Why is that so hard to see?"

"Because it's not the truth!" Derek yelled. He was enraged. His fists were clenched and his face was flushed. He wanted to defend his wife but in that moment Meredith couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed the bucket on the bedside table, ignoring the searing pain that shot through her chest, and emptied the few contents of her stomach into the bucket. Derek was at her side in a flash, holding her hair out of her face and rubbing her back as she began to dry heave. Mark grabbed Nancy by the elbow and proceeded to drag her out of the room. However as he opened the door he was met by a very angry Cristina.

"Alright listen here McBitchy." She spat. "That girl in there, that your brother loves so much it's sickening, is a patient. You're a doctor, you know that post-op patients are supposed to avoid stress if possible. Not to mention that she has been through severe emotional trauma, and questioning her love for her husband is very stressful both emotionally and physically. So you don't have to like her but you damn well have to respect the fact that she is in the process of recovering and while she is doing that I can't trust you to be anywhere near her so you are here by banned from her room." Cristina huffed.

"I...she was asleep." Nancy offered as a feeble excuse, looking guilty.

"And then you started yelling and woke her up!" Mark scolded. "At least Derek was making a conscious effort." Nancy hung her head in shame.

"I'm going to go check on Mer." Cristina excused herself. Mark nodded.

"We'll go find mom." Mark said leading Nancy away. When Cristina entered the room, she found Meredith with an oxygen mask over her mouth staring off into space with her eyes glazed over and Derek sitting on the side of the hospital bed running his hand through her hair.

"Is she okay?" Cristina whispered.

"I think so. She's worn out and she hasn't said anything but she calmed down pretty quick." Derek said never taking his eyes off Meredith. Cristina nodded.

"Teddy sent me in here to change her bandages and check her incision so..." She trailed off.

"Oh yeah sure." Derek hopped off the bed and took Meredith's hand. Cristina left to grab supplies and Derek leaned down to whisper in her ear. 'Cristina's gonna check your incision and change your bandages okay?" Meredith blinked a few times before she nodded imperceptibly. Cristina returned with the supplies and laid them out on the rolling table before she lifted up Meredith's shirt. She was immediately greeted by blood soaking through the bandage.

"Crap" She muttered under her breath. She pulled the bandage back and was relieved to see the blood was simply a result of three ripped stitches. After some poking and prodding, Cristina went to prepare a needle of lidocaine when she caught sight of Derek's concerned face.

"Is she..?" He trailed off almost afraid to know the answer.

"Relax she just ripped a few stitches, it happens." Cristina explained flicking the needle a few times. "Small pinch" She stuck the needle in Meredith's chest. Meredith winced in discomfort. Derek squeezed her hand, well aware of her needle-phobia. Cristina threw in the stitches like a pro, and replaced the bandages. "All good." She snapped off her gloves and disposed of them along with the supplies she had used. "I'll order you some pain meds for when the local wears off okay?" Meredith nodded slightly.

"Thank you" Derek said.

"No problem." Cristina brushed it off as she left the room. Derek turned his attention back to Meredith who had fallen asleep. Before slumping back into his seat Derek pecked her on the cheek.

"I love you" He whispered.

 **A/N OMG you have no idea how amazing it feels to actually write an entire lengthy conversation that isn't chopped up by ellipses and exhaustion. So I covered Nancy's bitching. The suggestion to have Cristina set her straight came from reviewer GayleLynn, so thank you. Some people have been asking for longer chapters and unfortunately I don't see that happening because I'm not the kind of person who sits down ad writes. I have squirrels that run around in my head and screw with my concentration and imagination. So the only way to stay motivated is to do it short and chopped up. Reviews are also good motivation so you should leave them. See you next chapter!**


	15. Chapter 15

Meredith slept for about six hours. She only woke a few times to have some juice or relieve herself. Derek hadn't left her room. He's dozed on the couch and signed off on the paperwork that handed over temporary power to Richard. He'd taken a shower and changed. People filed in and out of the room. Mostly Cristina to check stats. Mark and Lexie popped in on their way to get something to eat. Owen had popped his head in on Cristina's behalf and his mother had stopped by as well. She had apologized for Nancy and Derek had brushed it off saying Meredith was the one who needed the apology. Nonetheless it had been relatively quiet up until the nightmare started.

Derek was half sitting half laying on the couch reading a trashy hospital magazine while Meredith started to squirm in her sleep causing Derek to look up. What he saw broke his heart. Meredith appeared to be shaking her head in her sleep, tears escaping the confines of her closed eyelids. Derek stood to wake her and that's when the screaming started.

"No no no...NO. Please...Not him...shoot me not...him...Please please please...NO!...Nooooo!" Derek immediately dashed over to the side of the bed. As gently as he could he shook her by the shoulders frantically. He didn't want her to hurt herself nor did he want to see her suffering more than she already was.

"Meredith, Mer wake up." Her eyes flew open and she visibly relaxed at the sight of Derek.

"You're...okay." She breathed.

"Yeah I'm okay." He whispered pushing loose strands of hair out of her face. "Are you okay?"

"He...he sh-shot...y-you." Her bottom lip quivered and Derek was quick to wrap his arms around her.

"I'm okay I promise. It's okay, he's dead he can't hurt anyone." He mumbled soothing words in her ear as he rubbed her back and rocked back and forth in attempts to comfort her. Eventually Meredith calmed down. She tipped her head back to look at Derek.

"I...love you." She whispered, her warm breath tickling his chin.

"I love you too." He pecked her gently on the lips.

"I can't...go...back to sleep." She buried her head in his chest again.

"How about you try eating something again and hopefully this time my sister won't barge in here spreading her unwanted opinion.' Derek felt Meredith smile against his chest. "Then we could go for a walk or something." He buried his nose in the top of her head pleased with the fact that her hair was back to smelling like lavender.

"M'kay." She mumbled into his chest.

"Do you want to eat in the bed or on the couch?"

"Couch" Meredith lifted her head off his chest. Derek slid the I.V. pole into her grasp. She grabbed it and slowly slid off the bed setting her feet on the floor. Derek kept his hand on the small of her back as she shuffled across the floor to the couch. She slowly eased down onto the couch, and leaned back in the cushions. Derek grabbed the rolling table and adjusted it so that it was the right height for Meredith to use.

"Do you want applesauce or yogurt?" Derek asked holding up the two containers.

"Yogurt...maybe it'll...look bet...better it it...comes..back up." Meredith offered a small smile. Derek set the opened yogurt on the table in front of her and handed her a plastic spoon. Meredith proceeded to dip the spoon in the yogurt in attempts to take a bite, only to have some of it drip down her chin. Derek chuckled.

"Want a napkin?" He asked standing to get her one. She nodded. He returned with a napkin wiping the yogurt off her chin which earned him a death glare.

"Not...two"

"Teamwork' He offered as an explanation. "And clearly you have the manners of a two year old. You didn't say thank you," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Thanks" She mocked. She continued to eat her yogurt with Derek on napkin duty, until there was a knock at the door. It opened revealing Teddy.

"Ah Grey good to see you up and eating." She smiled. "I heard we had a little incident earlier but if the rumors are correct I'd chalk it up to stress."She paused as Derek nodded then continued. "So all your labs and scan look does your incision. I think it's safe to say when your stitches come out in five days,so Saturday, there is no reason you can't go home." Meredith was practically beaming but Derek looked concerned.

"But she just had surgery five days ago. She still needs antibiotics and pain killers.I don't want her rushed or fast tracked." Derek was starting to ramble. Meredith reached over and grabbed his hand squeezing it.

"Hey...s'okay." She reassured him looking at Teddy for backup.

"Pain killers and antibiotics can be prescribed orally, which if she can keep that yogurt down I was planning to wean her off the I.V. anyway. Also recovery happens faster in a familiar environment. I want her comfortable and sending her home will help with that. For a second Derek think like a doctor and not like a husband." Meredith squeezed his hand again.

"You can...wait on me...hand n'foot." She grinned and Teddy laughed.

"So I guess in five days we can go home." Derek said looking at Meredith. He was terrified that when he took her home, something could go wrong and they wouldn't have immediate he had five days to get used to the idea.

"I want you up and walking around more but I am going to limit you to the end of the hall. And I want you sitting up more preferably in chairs or on the couch. But know your limits, if you've been up and around and you feel sore our tired or anything there is no shame in resting." Teddy lectured. "I think on Thursday or Friday we'll try the stairs but for now stick to flat ground." Teddy smiled as Derek and Meredith nodded. "Any questions?"

"When does...Alex..." Meredith's question remained unfinished as another round of coughing wracked her body. Derek was quick to reach out and rub her back. When the coughing subsided Derek pressed a comforting kiss to her temple.

"You good?" He whispered in her ear. She nodded and Teddy smiled at the interaction before speaking up again.

"Between you and me Karev is getting discharged on Thursday. He was a little better off than you." With that Teddy turned and left the room.

It was a little after 9 pm when Meredith and Derek returned to the room. Meredith had walked to the end of the hall before Derek had helped her into the wheelchair. They had gone to the outdoor section of the cafeteria where Derek had gotten a sandwich and Meredith had picked at his fries. All her food had managed to stay down which they were both over the moon happy about. They had stayed outside until the sun had almost disappeared over the horizon, before making their way back to the room. Derek had parked the wheelchair at the end of the hall and Meredith walked the rest of the way with Derek at her side. As she carefully lay back in bed as not to irritate her wounds Derek climbed in next to her.

"What...re you...doing?" She giggled as he wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm keeping the bad dreams away."

 **A/N That last line was really cheesy I know. So this was sort of filler to help add to the timeline and give an idea of where we are. Next chapter will skip a day or two and feature Alex and maybe Lizze and Mama Shepherd. We will see. I'm glad you guys are liking it and I hope you will leave a review.**


	16. Chapter 16

It was Thursday. It had been a week and a day since the shooting. Yesterday had been a tough day. On top of all the emotional stuff, Meredith had been in a substantial amount of physical pain. Nothing anyone had done made it better. That didn't stop Derek from trying though. He had gone out of his way to get her good food that wasn't hospital crap, and had harassed the nurses, and even Teddy, to get her more pain meds. He bought her little gifts like flowers and balloons and had sat vigil by her bedside, holding her hand and telling her he loved her, and that is what seemed to help the most. Today though was a different story. Meredith had bounced back from the day before. She was excited that Alex was going home and even more excited that she wouldn't be that far behind him. Derek was still a little apprehensive about the idea but he was happy that he actually got the chance to take her home. While she was still asleep he had gone out to get them breakfast at one of the cafés down the street. Meredith's appetite was still small and bland but it was there nonetheless. When he returned with an omelet for himself and scrambled eggs for Meredith, he found her awake and talking to Alex.

""Hey" She smiled when he walked in. Derek set the bag on the table next to the untouched breakfast tray and quickly ducked down to kiss her.

"Hey, I got you eggs and some fruit." She nodded.

"Mmm thank you." Alex scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Jeez you guys I can leave."

"You're just jealous...you had to eat...crappy...hospital food." She giggled slightly.

"When do you get out of here Karev?" Derek asked.

"Soon hopefully. Lexie's signing all my discharge papers. I just wanted to keep Mer company." Derek smiled, glad Meredith had such good friends.

"I guess...your gonna have to...sign my...discharge papers..too." Meredith said, looking at Derek, holding up her injured hand, which had recently been encased in a purple cast.

"Happy to" He said leaning in to kiss her again. Just then Lexie came in the door with a wheelchair and Alex's bags.

"Oh thank God it was turning all romantic in here." Alex whined as he hoisted himself from the chair. Lexie moved to help but Alex shooed her away. "I got it. And I'm not riding in that thing." He motioned towards the wheelchair.

"Too bad you have to." Lexie scolded.

"See Alex...this is why...nobody brings...you decent food." Meredith chided. Lexie's face dropped.

"Oh crap...I didn't even think...I'm so sorry. When we get home I'll get you whatever you want." She promised. Alex glared at Meredith.

"Thanks a lot." He muttered as Lexie wheeled him out of the room.

"Give it a week...before he snaps." Meredith said reaching for her breakfast. Derek chuckled as he grabbed his meal from the bag.

"You're on." He challenged. "What do you want to do when we're done eating?" Meredith scooped a forkful of eggs into her mouth while she thought about the question. She had become a lot more skilled at using her left hand over the past couple days and barely needed any help from Derek.

"Um...I think a walk...and cuddling...on the couch." Derek nodded mentally planning it out in his head. But what Meredith said next surprised him. "And uh...I kinda...wanna...meet Lizzie" Derek froze for a moment processing what she had just said.

"You...you do?" He was elated she wanted to meet his family but he wanted her to be sure she wanted to do it.

"Yeah I...I guess...I should...give her a chance...Right?" She was nervous, there was no denying that, but she wanted to meet his family.

"Okay...If you want to then okay. Why don't we finish eating and then I'll text her and see if she can drop by okay?" Meredith nodded. Derek was a little nervous. It wasn't that he thought Lizzie wouldn't like her. It was simply that family was a tough thing for Meredith. They continued eating in relative silence. When they were done, Derek texted Lizzie and they migrated over to the couch. It wasn't long after that,when there was a small knock on the door before it opened and Lizzie appeared.

"Hi' She spoke quietly closing the door softly behind her taking in the scene in front of her. Derek had his right arm wrapped around Meredith's shoulders as she leaned on his chest, her good hand loosely holding a pillow to her chest. Upon Lizzie's entrance Meredith picked her head up.

"Hi" She said cautiously, sticking her hand out. "I'm Meredith"

"Lizzie" She said taking her hand and shaking it gently. "I'm sorry this is going to be kind of awkward no matter what we do." Meredith smiled

"Well...you haven't called...me a slut or...mid-life crisis...so good start." Lizzie chuckled.

"Yeah sorry about Nancy she's...stuck up. And besides, from the way Derek goes on and on about you on the rare occasion that he calls, you don't strike me as either of those things." Lizzie reassured. Derek rolled his eyes and Meredith pecked his cheek playfully.

"Aww you brag...about me?" She smiled.

"Ugh all the time." Lizzie said sarcastically. The conversation continued on, with similar light banter and simple questions about one another. It was half an hour into the minimally awkward conversation, when there was another knock at the door. Teddy entered with a nurse pushing a wheelchair.

"Sorry to interrupt." Teddy said taking in the scene in front of her

"Oh it's alright I should be going anyway." Lizzie said excusing herself. "It was nice meeting you Meredith." After she left Teddy turned back to Meredith and Derek.

"Sister?" They nodded. "I like her better than the other one." Teddy said. Derek chuckled.

"Yeah Nancy isn't really god representative of my family." Meredith nodded in agreement.

"We named her...McBitchy." Teddy laughed.

"Okay well I actually came in here with a purpose. We're going to try stairs so I can clear you to go home." Meredith nodded eagerly at the chance to go home and Derek pursed his lips.

"Are you sure? I mean I don't want to rush this." Meredith grabbed his hand.

"Hey...it''ll be okay." She assured squeezing his hand. "What do you...need me...to do."

"We're going to take you down to Rehab and use the exercise stairs, then we'll bring you back up. Okay?" Meredith nodded and slowly started to stand, using Derek for leverage. Even if she was having a good day her broken sternum still throbbed dully and it would turn to intense radiating pain if she overdid it. She gingerly eased herself back into the wheelchair. She'd been take off the I. night, so there was no shuffling of the pole. Derek handed her the pillow for her chest before he took her good hand in his as the nurse wheeled her out of the room and towards the elevator.

Once down in Rehab Teddy started to explain what Meredith had to do.

"So what we're going to do is have you stand and walk up the left side using your good hand and the rail. Derek's going to be in front of you and Kerry wil be behind you," She clarified pointing to the nurse. Meredith nodded in understanding, before standing up and grabbing the railing. Derek stood two steps above her and the nurse, Kerry, stood behind her ready to catch her should she lose her balance. Slowly she took the first step up, the teo people around her moving with her. She repeated this she was at the top. She was slightly winded but proud of herself.

"...did it..." She breathed still trying to catch her breath.

"You did it." Derek whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead "Are you ready to go back down?" Meredith nodded and they began their descent which was easier than going up but not by much. By the time she was back in the wheelchair about forty-five minutes had passed and Meredith was struggling to keep her eyes open. After they were back in her room Teddy and the nurse left quickly leaving Derek and Meredith, who was still in the wheelchair. Derek pulled the sheets back before maneuvering the wheelchair up beside the bed. He grabbed Meredith under her arms and gently lifted her up onto the bed, careful not to disturb her incisions. He helped her lay back before tucking her in.

"Love you" Meredith whispered before she was pulled to sleep.

"I love you too." he whispered tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

 **A/N Kind of a filler chapter before she goes home. She bonded with Lizzie and I have plans to take that further don't worry. I really hope you liked i though even if it wasn't much. Please leave a review!**

 **A/N 2 I don't usually do this but I'm kind of desperate here.I'm looking for a story. It's MerDer and they're married and they have a daughter named Lydia who has some sort of disability. Also Mark and Addison are a thing until Mark was in an accident and ended up being PVS. Like three years after that Addison gets breast cancer and needs treatment in New York. She doesn't tell anyone except Derek and Meredith and Derek offers to go to new York with her leaving Meredith without a say. Also at some point he forgets her birthday. If you know what it's called PM me or just leave it in the reviews. You e\would be my hero!**


	17. Chapter 17

Meredith was practically bouncing up and down on the bed. In a no more than an hour she would be going home. Derek was signing her discharge papers, and she was making one last sweep around the room, making sure she didn't forget anything. She really didn't want to come back here if she could avoid it. She was pulled from her thoughts when Derek walked in pushing a wheelchair, with Teddy behind him.

"Okay Grey, you are free to go." Teddy said handing her discharge instructions. "I want you really resting for the first three days. No stairs, only up for bathroom breaks and ten minute showers. Normally I'd say make sure someone is home at all times but judging by the youth hostel you've got going on, I don't need to worry. After that start taking small walks around the house. You can try the stairs around day five, and I'll see you back here in a week." Teddy explained. She then left the room, allowing Derek to help Meredith into the wheelchair.

"You ready to go home?" He asked with a huge grin on his face.

"More...than you know." She replied, with an equally as big smile. The smile faded as Derek wheeled her out into the hall. Apparently the nurses at Seattle Pres were just as gossipy as the ones at Seattle Grace. They were all giving her looks of sympathy and some were just flat out staring. Meredith just stared at the floor, trying to block out the looks and whispers. Sensing her apprehension, Derek placed a supportive hand on her shoulder. He quickened his pace a little, and soon they were in the private confines of the elevator.

"You okay?" He asked gently.

"Yeah, just...want to go home." She answered softly.

"Okay." He said. "Lets go home." And with that the elevator doors opened.

The car ride home was quiet. Meredith rested her head against the cool window and she had her bad arm loosely wrapped around Derek's pillow, holding it to her chest for when she occasionally coughed. Derek was focused on the road but he kept one hand in Meredith's good hand occasionally squeezing it. She was tired he could tell, but she was also ecstatic to be going home. He was happy to have her there. Sure he was a little nervous something could go wrong, but he was glad to be cuddling her in there comfortable queen size bed instead of the hard twin sized hospital bed. He was also excited to annoy her by playing nurse. It was a good thirty-five minute drive home and when they finally arrived Meredith was struggling to keep her eyes open. Derek pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned to her.

"We're home." He whispered softly, reaching over and brushing the hair out of Meredith's face. She simply nodded in response, confirming what Derek already knew. He climbed out of the car and went over to Meredith's side, opening the door for her. He slowly helped her out of the car before looping his arm around her waist. She leaned her weight into him as he gently guided her up the front path. She still held the pillow to her chest, just in case. Derek quickly opened the front door, before guiding Meredith inside and gently easing her coat off her shoulders, being extra careful about her hand. He hastily took off his jacket before re-wrapping his arms around Meredith. He kissed the top of her head, before gently picking her up.

"What..." Meredith trailed off in surprise.

"Teddy said no stairs." He offered up as an explanation. "I'm not hurting you am I?"

"No." She mumbled burying her head in his chest. He made quick work of bringing her upstairs and to their bedroom. He laid her down on top of the newly washed sheets, with her back resting against the headboard. Yesterday he had come home to prepare the house for her return, leaving her in the trusted company of Mark and Cristina. He had washed the sheets and a load of her pajamas. He'd cleaned up their usually messy bedroom so she would be able to walk around safely. He'd gone to the store and stocked up on her favorite snack foods, as well as books, movies and magazines. Also he'd lugged the TV upstairs so that she would be entertained. In that moment though all that mattered to Meredith is that she was in a bed and she could sleep. Derek pulled her shoes off, and silently thanked God he was able to convince her to wear pajamas before leaving the hospital. He peeled back the covers and made quick work of maneuvering Meredith's half sleeping form under them. He fluffed and adjusted the pillows behind her in attempts to make her as comfortable as possible. He was extra sure to prop her injured hand up on a pillow and make sure one was near her chest.

"Are you comfortable?" He whispered before realizing she was already fast asleep. He pressed a soft kiss her forehead, before going to retrieve the bags from the car. Derek grabbed all the bags from the car and set to work unpacking them. He threw all the clothes into a load of laundry and pinned post-op instructions on the fridge, next to Alex's. They had only brought home a couple of the hundreds of flowers Meredith had received in the hospital. Derek watered them all and scattered them around the house. The last thing he did was return her bathroom stuff to their en suite bathroom. He checked on Meredith who hadn't even stirred. It was after that Derek went down to the kitchen. He'd realized somewhere along the way that the house was really quiet. He wondered the whereabouts of the roommates until he caught sight of the calendar. The date was marked off in black marker, thee littlee words scribbled next to it. _Reed Adamson funeral._ Derek felt guilty not being able to attend all the funerals for the staff who didn't survive. There had been a collective service for all the fallen security guards on Tuesday and he'd gone to that with Meredith who, despite still being on antibiotics and oxygen, had insisted on going too. With the comprise she would stay in a wheelchair the entire time. However that one service was it. He alleaviated some of his guilt by telling himself it was because he wasn't planning a funeral as well. Derek began to bustle around the kitchen, while keeping an ear out for Meredith. He wasn't the best cook but he could do the basics. That included chicken noodle scooped his creation into two bowls, leaving the pot on the stove for Lexie and Alex. He took the two bowls up to their room where Meredith was just beginning to stir.

"Hey" She whispered sleepily. She attempted to sit up a little more, before wincing and falling back into the pillows.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her wince didn't go unnoticed by Derek.

"Yeah, just...ouch." She mumbled.

"Here." Derek grabbed the bottle of painkillers and tapped two pills into his hand which he handed to Meredith followed by a bottle of water. She grimaced as the pills went down. Derek took the bottle back and put it on the nightstand. He then reached back and adjusted the pillows so she could sit up. "Do you want to eat?"

"Yeah" Meredith nodded. Derek took his bowl off the tray, before laying it across her lap. He then climbed into bed beside her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he kissed the top of her head.

"I'm glad you're home"

"Me too"

 **A/N So I finished this at Starbucks, talk about cliche. So I was really excited to write this chapter and I got it all down and realized it was really short. I don't really like this chapter, it's kinda filler fluff and there wasn't a lot of dialogue. I tried though. Leave a review, it's the nice thing to do!**


	18. Chapter 18

It was Sunday morning. After eating the soup Derek had made, he rubbed her back which was starting to protest being slept on top of almost twenty-four hours a day for the past eleven days. The few minutes of relief were all it took to get her to fall into a deep sleep. After he took the bowls downstairs, Derek helped Lexie practically drag Alex upstairs, before he changed into his own pajamas and crawled into bed beside Meredith. Now Meredith was awake and in excruciating pain and she really had to pee. Derek was sleeping on his side, his arm loosely resting across her waist. He was out cold, so she carefully slid out from under his arm, ignoring the heavy protest her chest gave. She carefully shuffled through the dark, keeping her hands out in case she ran into anything. By something short of a miracle, she made it to the bathroom without waking the light sleeper that was her husband. She turned on the light after shutting the door. She felt exhausted and her chest was begging for mercy. She slowly shuffled over to the toilet and eased herself down with the help of the wall. Sitting felt slightly better, only because the world seemed as if it was spinning less. She finished her business and couldn't bring herself to fully wash her hands, so she just slathered some soap on her hands. She stumble out of the room and was almost back to her side of the bed when her toe caught on the bed post. She hissed in pain and that was all it took to wake up Derek.

"Wha..." He sat up squinting sleep from his eyes. "What're you doing!' He cried, now much more aware.

"Had to pee." Was her simple explanation.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" He asked, crawling out of bed and coming up beside her. She shrugged and winced as another pain flared through her chest.

"Didn't...want to" He sighed wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Come on." He kissed the top of her head and guided her back to bed. He pulled the blankets back and helped her lie down in the mountain of pillows. He grabbed the orange bottle off of the bedside table and tapped two pills in his hand before putting each pill in her mouth, then holding a water bottle to her her lips to swallow the pills. Almost immediately after, her eyes fluttered shut. Derek pulled the blankets back over her gently pecked her forehead, before climbing into bed on his side. He made a mental note to switch sides of the bed with her when he got the chance. She was stubborn and unwilling to accept help, so he could at the very least make it easier on her.

Derek awoke a few hours later to the sun streaming through the window. He quickly moved to shut the curtains to allow Meredith a few more hours of much needed rest. He climbed back into bed and reached for a medical journal on his bedside table. He was only a few paragraphs in on an article about a new method for treating infantile epilepsy, when there was a soft knock at the after Lexie poked her head in.

"Hey" She whispered. "How is she?" She motioned towards Meredith.

"Okay. We had a little...bump earlier, but I think the pain meds knocked her out." Derek smiled softly at his sleeping wife who was dead to the world.

"That's good. Alex is still out too. I think he overdid it yesterday, and thanks for your help last night. I was afraid I'd have to leave him on the couch." Lexie chuckled nervously.

"No problem." Derek smiled.

"Anyway I came up here to tell you I made oatmeal for you and Mer if she feels up to eating solids. It's on the stove, you'll probably have to heat it up."

"Thanks." Derek said.

"No problem. Consider it payback for the soup last night." She smiled, before reaching for the door knob and pulling the door shut softly, but not before telling him to yell if they needed anything. Derek went back to reading his article, but it was only a few minutes later that Meredith began to stir beside him.

"Hey" He whispered after a few moments of letting her become more aware of her surroundings.

"Hey" She whispered back, her voice laced with sleep and slight discomfort.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay...sore but okay."

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked brushing stray hair out of her face. She nodded, and Derek immediately began to free himself from the tangle of sheets. He returned with two bowls of oatmeal and set them on his bedside table.

"Hey!...Can't reach" Meredith whined. Derek just chuckled and reached under her arms.

"What are you...?" Her sentence was cut off by her sharp intake of breath.

"Sorry sorry." Derek muttered. "I'm helping I swear." He said pulling her over to his side of the bed and then repeating the process with the mountain of pillows.

"How?"

"Well now you can get up and go to the bathroom and not have to worry about waking me up." He said grabbing his oatmeal and going to what was now his side."And plus you can reach now."

"Thank you." She whispered, kissing his cheek then grabbing her oatmeal.

 **A/N Eh Gads Man this chapter was short. I'm sorry I've been combating writers block with this story. I have a few good ideas I just don't know how to get there. So I'm stuck in this awkward limbo that makes for icky stories. If you have any good ideas leave them in the reviews. Also I really wanted to get this chapter up for you guys so you know I'm not dead to the world just having a rough time coming off the vacation. Which was fabulous thank you for asking. Anyways leave a review and don't worry I will update WWYS soon and I have a pretty good idea for that so it should be quick.**


	19. Chapter 19

Meredith sat curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Derek was in the kitchen making them lunch. A "heart healthy" lunch to be specific. He had been waiting on Meredith hand and foot since she had gotten home. He did everything he could to make sure she only had to do what was necessary. He allowed her to walk to the bathroom in their room and from their bedroom to the stairs before he would scoop her up and carry her downstairs. He would make her a little nest on the couch. He would bring her anything he wanted or carry her to the downstairs bathroom and wait outside the door, much to her protests. As much as she was enjoying the service, she was getting a little restless. Tomorrow Teddy had said that stairs were okay and she fully intended on exercising that power regardless of Derek's protests. At that moment Derek reentered the room carrying two lettuce wraps.

"I'm never gonna eat another pizza again am I?" Meredith rolled her eyes sarcastically at Derek as he handed her his plate. He chuckled, sitting down beside her on the couch. She leaned her head on his shoulder and began to eat. They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes until Meredith set her mostly cleared plate down on the coffee table. She had an appetite but the pain killers rarely let her finish a meal. Derek polished off his lunch and put his plate next to hers. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, so her head was resting on his upper arm.

"How do you feel?" He asked burying his nose on the top of her head.

"I'm okay. Its not so bad today." She cocked her head slightly to smile up at him.

"Scale of one to ten?"

"Six-ish" She shrugged and cuddled closer to Derek who, in response, tightened his grip on her. They lapsed into comfortable silence again before Meredith spoke up again. "When do your sisters and your mom leave?

"Well Nancy left the day before you were discharged and Mom and Lizzie leave next Saturday." Meredith nodded taking in the information.

"Don't they have lives back in New York?" She giggled slightly.

"Ma's life revolves around her children which I happen to be one of." He gave her a charming smile. "And Lizzie works for a private practice so her hours are flexible. Plus her kids are between the age of nine and sixteen so their pretty self sufficient so all Nick has to do is supervise."

"Who's Nick?" Meredith gave him a quizzical look.

"Lizzie's husband." Derek clarified. Meredith nodded, drifting off in thought for a moment until Derek brought her back. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well I was um thinking we could maybe invite them over for dinner." She cast her glance down nervously before picking her head back up to see Derek grinning widely.

"Really?" He asked his voice full of hope.

"Yeah I mean maybe sometime after my weekly with Dr. Altman. I mean like, they flew all the way out to Seattle and we've barely seen them, I know I got shot and everything but I feel like this makes me a terrible hostess and plus you're their family and you should spend time with them like maybe just a day and I could just chill with Lexie and Alex I mean it isn't fa-" Her ramble was cut off but Derek putting his finger to her lips.

"Breathe Mer you need to breathe nothing to stressful for the heart." He reminded her jokingly. "And I would love to invite my family over to dinner but I refuse to leave you for the day even if I wanted to I would rather be here." He reassured her. "I'll call them and talk about dinner and if Teddy gives you the all clear then maybe we can do something small with them like take the ferry out to the land." Meredith nodded at the compromise. Derek pecked her forehead and she snuggled deeper into the blanket, before reaching for the remote and turning on the TV. the first thing that popped up was the news. They had avoided watching the news simply out of desire not to expose themselves to more trauma than necessary. But no one was talking it as just pictures A slideshow of the immediate aftermath. In one of the pictures Derek could see himself running with a gurney. The bundled up patient on the gurney was obviously Meredith. Then there were the pictures from all the funerals, and the families crying over their fallen members they both watched in a fixed horror. neither really wanted to, but nobody reached fro the remote. The slideshow ended with the mayor's speech form the day after, then the news went to traffic. They stared in utter silent shock until Derek reaches forward and turned off the TV before he broke the quiet.

"I feel bad that I didn't go to the funerals." He spoke quietly. "I justified it being that I didn't have to plan a funeral myself but it still..." He trailed off glancing at Meredith. To the best of her ability she wrapped her arms around him, giving him a tentative hug.

"I'm glad you don't have to plan a funeral, but I wish no one had to plan a funeral in the first place." She whispered. Derek nodded in agreement and they lapsed back into silence.

"What I really wish is that Mr. Clarke hadn't had the need to plan a funeral. I wish I hadn't given him a reason to plan a funeral." Derek spoke shakily. Meredith reached up and caressed his cheek.

"It wasn't your fault." She reassured him softly. He didn't say anything, he just nodded unconvincingly. Meredith sighed but didn't day anything. Instead she began to untangle herself from the blanket she was wrapped in. "Lets go upstairs and lay down." She suggested, beginning to stand up. No sooner had she said that had Derek swooped her up in his arms and was carrying her to the stairs. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Hey don't do that, I like carrying you, it's good for the ego." She giggled at him as he carried her up the stairs.

"I love you." She whispered kissing his neck gently.

 **A/N What OMG what's going on? I'm updating? Holy crap it's been to long. Sorry I just was unmotivated to do anything but sit in my room and surf YouTube all day. But I'll be going back to school and hopefully that'll help get back into a routine. I think this story might be coming to a close though now that I actually pay attention to it. I don't know we'll see. Also I have a new story called Forgotten Conversations up and it's a one-shot collection so check it out. Also don't forget a review and once again very sorry this took so long.**


	20. Chapter 20

"Well Meredith everything looks good." Teddy smiles as she looped her stethoscope around her neck. Meredith nodded enthusiastically and Derek simply squeezed her hand. "So I'm going to write you a script for extra strength acetominaphine in place of the Percocet to help wean you off. Also I want you taking small walks daily and maybe some light housework, but still no lifting over 5 pounds." Meredith nodded in understanding bur Derek looked a little worried.

"Are you sure about the walks, I mean she could easily get tired..." Derek trailed off when Meredith shot him a death glare.

"She'll be fine Derek. I'm not talking a marathon, just around the block. She knows her limits." Meredith nodded in agreement and Derek surrendered. Teddy scribbled down a few more things in Meredith's chart before snapping it closed and handing Meredith a prescription.

"Okay so I want you to fill that and I'll see you back here in 3 weeks and we can talk about getting you back on track for work. Sound good?" Meredith nodded and Teddy smiled before exiting the room, leaving Derek to dote.

"So we can get this filled on the way home and then you can rest on the couch while I make dinner. Well do this instead of the Percocet tonight. And Teddy said we need to taper-"Meredith cut him off with a kiss.

"Stop planning so much. I really want something pasta-y for dinner and I'll probably want to rest in bed because I feel like I could fall asleep and I'd rather not do it on the couch. That's as far as I've gotten and that's as far as I need to go." She smiled reassuringly. Derek nodded absently while he helped her off the exam table. He helped her into her coat before looping his arm protectively around her waist.

"Do you feel okay to walk?" Derek asked and Meredith resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"I feel okay Derek, I promise." She kissed his cheek as they began to make their way to the car. Unsurprisingly, Cristina was waiting for them at the end of the hall.

"How'd it go?" Cristina asked, pushing herself off the wall.

"Good." Meredith replied. "She said everything looked good and she wants me to start moving more as well as weaning off the Percocet and the Oxy which I've already started." She shrugged. Cristina nodded in approval as she started to walk down the hall with them.

"So I'm off tomorrow, and I really need a rant so can I swing by tomorrow?" Cristina asked.

"Sure. It's not like I'm going anywhere." Meredith smiled and Cristina nodded.

"Cool see ya tomorrow then." Cristina parted ways as Meredith and Derek headed for the car.

True to her word, Meredith had fallen asleep somewhere between the pharmacy and her house. Derek had carried her upstairs and tucked her in before heading back downstairs to make dinner. It was a good hour later before he heard her slowly pad down the stairs. When she appeared in the doorway Derek couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, how was your nap?" He asked coming around the counter to hug her.

"Mmm, good." She mumbled, resting her head on his chest. Derek rubbed large circles on her back gently for a moment before straightening up and leading her to the table.

"I made you some chicken Alfredo." Derek said, returning to the pot on the stove. Meredith nodded slowly, When she wasn't woken by a pager, she took awhile to adjust.

"Okay." She finally replied, resting her head on her crossed arms in front of her. Derek served her meal on a plate and placed it in front of her. He stood behind her and gently massaged her shoulders.

"Do you feel okay?" He couldn't help but ask again.

"Yeah I just..." She trailed off.

"Just what?" Derek prodded.

"I feel really tired." She mumbled. Derek kept rubbing her back gently.

"That's understandable, you've had a long day." He pacified. "Do you want to go back to bed?" She shook her head.

"No I'm hungry, I just don't have the energy to eat." Derek thought for a moment.

"Why don't you go back to bed and I'll bring you something to eat in a little bit?" He suggested. Meredith nodded slowly and stood. She trudged up the stairs and out of sight before Derek turned back to the kitchen. He found crackers and chicken broth easily. He put the chicken broth in a pot on the stove to heat up. After the broth had heated, Derek poured it into a mug and crumbled some crackers over it. He made his way upstairs. He had to keep himself from laughing when he got to their bedroom. Meredith was sprawled out on her back on the bed. She wasn't asleep, but by the sounds of her breathing, Derek could tell she was almost there. Derek tiptoed across the room and placed the mug on the bedside table. At the sound of his entry, Meredith opened her eyes part way.

"Hey" She whispered.

"Hey" He replied smiling. She closed her eyes fir a moment before struggling to sit up. Derek helped by steadying her shoulders. He guided her under the covers and handed her the steaming mug.

"It's chicken broth. My mom always made it for one of us when we were sick. It fills you up." He explained. Meredith nodded and sipped from the mug slowly. Derek changed into his pajamas before climbing into bed beside her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"If we ever have children, it's your job to deal with them when their sick." She mumbled.

"Why me?" He asked mockingly.

"Because I don't know how to do this stuff. No one ever did it for me." She said. Derek sighed and kissed the top of her head.

"It's sort of just instinct I think. I'll guess we'll figure out but for what it's worth, you will be a great mom."

"You think?" She asked taking another sip from her mug.

"I know."

* * *

 **A/N yay updated, go me! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a review. Thank you so much for reading and your sup port is greatly appreciated. Have a fabulous day!**


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